


Warlock in the Iron Mask

by rufferto



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic, Danger, Hurt Merlin, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Imprisonment, M/M, Protective Arthur, Romance, Torture, Uther is sort of nice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-09 03:29:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4332150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rufferto/pseuds/rufferto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin was captured and spelled into an Iron Mask which prevents him from using his magic.<br/>Arthur rescues him and has to find a way to remove the mask.<br/>There is no actual rape-non con in the story. Only prior. Only a small amount of Torture in the story and some descriptions of it. Non-graphic. Just at the beginning.<br/>This is Hurt/Comfort Drama Romance with a dark element thrown in.<br/>It is mostly about Arthur taking care of Merlin.<br/>Don't own Merlin (BBC) not making any money<br/>Comments are love. :) Thank you!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

CHAPTER 1 of 10

Merlin awoke and the first thing he remembered was the pain. He cried from the intensity of it. The bindings on his wrists were tight and cut into his pale skin. He could feel his body aching and bruised. It was dark and he couldn’t see a thing because of the iron mask. His throat was too dry to do anything more than whimper. Yet he knew he was not alone in this place. He also knew he was naked. Some water splashed on him and he found that he was being washed. The mask was there so that he’d never be able to know who it was.

“What do you want...” Merlin croaked, whetting his lips with the dirty water.

No answer.

Rough hands did the same thing they did the last time he was there. They cleansed him, fingers deep in places they shouldn’t be. As usual, he tried to fight weakly but the mask wouldn’t let him use any magic or see very well. He was well and truly a prisoner in this dark place.

He didn’t know how long he had been here but he’d counted the times this had happened, he counted and remembered. 128 times the water had sloshed on him. He didn’t know how many days pass between the water and the food for he saw no sunshine.

His arms felt heavy as the chains are tightened again and he collapsed on the small pile of hay. He can feel his hair growing inside the mask and his face itched terribly.

He curled into himself and the chains scrape against the floor and shivers. His coughs are raspy and he knew his lungs have been damaged in this cold, dark cell. Other parts of him too, but he didn’t want to think about that.

He clung to the memories to remind himself that he was still alive.

He remembered a brilliant golden head but he was starting to forget his voice. His smile, his laugh, and lived for Arthur if only to see that smile one more time. He tried once again to get a spell to work but the Iron Mask only tightened against his face so he stopped and writhed.

***

Arthur had known of Merlin’s disappearance since a week after it had happened. They’d all believed he’d gone home for a visit but soon heard it was not the case. In spite of his father’s bluster and condemnation of it, Arthur and the Knights went in search of Merlin and followed every lead. Gwaine and Lancelot searched other Kingdoms where they could not go. Arthur was bound and determined to find him.

Merlin wasn’t just any servant to Arthur and all the Knights knew it. Arthur had been in love with Merlin since the day he’d met him and never had a chance to say so. Merlin was just a boy then and completely oblivious. Arthur had tried to make him jealous by showing interest in girls. Nothing had worked. Not a single reaction other than his usual bumbling ways. It was maddening and he all but gave up hope that his annoying manservant would ever return his desires. Now Merlin was 19 and had been missing for half a year. They were riding out to meet Gwaine who had a report.

Gwaine met him at the border, a grim look in his eyes. “I’ve got word of something. I’m not sure, Arthur... a feeling in my gut.”

“You sure it’s not a hangover?” Arthur and Gwaine had become rather friendly while they searched for Merlin together.

“No, but I’ve heard a story from a serving girl who lives at Wildarn Castle. You know the place by the sea? Well, it used to be abandoned but a warlord took control of it, a man named Sebastian. He’s one of Cenred’s mercenaries.” Gwaine rubbed the back of his neck.

“Out with it.” Arthur nearly shouted. He was sick with worry and he needed to know NOW.

“There’s a story that once a month Sebastian shows off his prize.” Gwaine grunted. “A present to him from King Cenred, a young man, no one knows his name or even what he looks like. They have put him in a mask an iron mask and enchanted it. It is said that the mask will not fall off and is cursed to say upon him to stop him from using magic.”

“Can it be Merlin?” Arthur knew of the magic. Lancelot had been forced to tell him.

“I hope not Arthur, I really hope not but we must follow the lead.” Gwaine grunted and looked away.

“What aren’t you telling me?” Arthur’s eyes were dangerous as he glared at Gwaine.

“The girl said Sebastian uses the prisoner.” Gwaine cleared his throat nervously and sighed grimly. “I believe she said it was for some sort of perverse pleasure? I fear what we might find, Arthur.”

The color drained from Arthur’s face. “We must get to them.” He took hold of one of his knights. “Send word back to Gaius. Research this Iron Mask. We ride for Wildarn Castle!”

It was a long shot and just another of the many rumors about Merlin. A lump stuck in Arthur’s throat. What would they find there? Would Merlin be okay? Would he be broken? Would Arthur ever see those beautiful blue eyes again? He would kill every last one of them if the people in the Castle were holding Merlin.

And so they thundered across the land, the Knights of Camelot, the horses hoofs rough against the ground. Arthur was not going to leave any clue alone. He would find Merlin. He would find him and would shake him for being so careless to get himself captured and making Arthur suffer this terrible guilt. Had it been something he’d done? Had he somehow made Merlin vulnerable? They’d never received a single ransom note.

There was so much he wanted to say. As far as the magic bit, he ... he didn’t know what to say about that yet and Lancelot had encouraged him not to tell Merlin he knew, that he should just let it come naturally.

Arthur spurred his horse faster. The castle by the sea was well guarded. They would have to come up with a plan.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I guess you could say this is a dark fic.:)  
> There was some non-con but I am not going to describe it. It was part of the torture, which I'm also not going to really describe a lot of.   
> Hurt/Comfort Romance. :) Yeah?  
> Reviews always appreciated. Hope you like.:)

Warlock in Iron Mask Chapter 2

He stopped counting the days because it only made it that much harder because it became apparent that no one was going to come for him. He knew that if he continued to do it the worse he would feel. He had fantasized being rescued many times, so many times that he wasn’t sure he’d be able to recognize a real rescue if it happened. Arthur bursting through the door, hair illuminated in the torchlight of the outside hallway. He would always have something in hand that would remove the mask and then he would pick up Merlin and take him back to Camelot. Arthur gathering him up in his arms, Arthur kissing him, once he’d dreamed being back in Camelot only to be rudely awakened by pain in his thigh as he was asked again questions he did not have the answers to. That’s the way it always went.

He only wished he’d had the courage to tell Arthur how he felt before this happened. Arthur had no idea where he was, had no idea he had magic and certainly wouldn’t be traipsing around the countryside looking his wayward manservant. So these fantasies were all just painful dreams of what would never be. And even though he knew he was well and truly screwed it still gave him comfort to dream of Arthur, it was the only thing that kept him clinging to life. His best hope was the druids or the Great Dragon.

He did find one other way to stop from going insane. Since his eyes were useless behind the mask, he began to use his hearing and nose to try and sort out who was who. He so far identified five different guards and a recurring servant by voice, footfall and smell. The one who did things to him, well, that was another story entirely. Merlin was pretty sure he was a warrior given the rough callous on his hands like Arthur had. This had helped sharpen his senses. Granted it wasn’t really all that useful but maybe it would be in the future. It was something to focus on besides how many times he had been tortured for information on Camelot’s defenses and any weaknesses. He had so far told them nothing, hence further abuse and he could have told them about the secret way in and out, but he didn’t. He would never betray Arthur. They could do whatever they liked to him, he wouldn’t say a thing, and... they had.

The person who came to use him wasn’t a guard. That much he was certain. He wasn’t a nobleman either, his voice was rough. He had come to the conclusion that he was being held by some other King’s mercenaries. Knights had a more noble tone to them. The information didn’t really help him much but at least it was something.

The worst part of this was that they kept him alive. They force fed him and his wounds were sometimes treated. They would not let him die...they just let him languish and his mind wander. He had to live though, he had to fight. He never just –let- them him what they pleased. He always fought, that’s what got him broken fingers. He tried again to remove the mask but it wasn’t coming off. His magic was just not powerful enough to shake the spell or curse.

He had a small sense of gratification though. The man that people called Sebastian was just as frustrated with it. He kept taunting Merlin about what he would do to his lips if he could only get to them. The mask protected his entire head. He was safe from that at least. The rest of him, not so much and he supposed he should be happy that all parts of him were still intact. Sebastian had apparently been told that Merlin must remain whole and he was too afraid of whoever had decreed that to go against them.

As usual he was not sure what time it was when Sebastian came to him again. “Well, my little bird. You will be getting some fresh air tonight.” He drew Merlin to his feet using his chains. Merlin couldn’t stand for very long anymore so he had to prop him up against the wall. “We’re having a feast. Visitors have come and I want to display you.”

Visitors? Merlin groaned inwardly. If it was anything like last time, he’d have to stand for hours. He already knew he couldn’t stand for five minutes.

Sebastian scoffed as he sagged again. “You’ll kneel behind me, little bird. One way or another, you’ll be there.” He stepped away and let Merlin sink to the floor. “Get him ready, I want him dressed proper.” He spoke to one of the men.

Merlin’s head raced. It might be a chance to run? They got very drunk at these feasts. He’d have to bide his time and conserve his strength. How far could he run? Not very far, he was sure, but he would have to try. So this time he didn’t fight the guards as the men cleaned him, washed him and had his wounds bandaged. He tried not to think about it was happening. He was exposed to them but they did only what they were told. They were that afraid of Sebastian.

The mask made his skin itch something terrible the entire time.   
  
***

Gwaine had come up with a fabulous plan, because that is what he does and that’s why they found themselves seated at a feast table across from the Master of the very Castle they wanted to raid.

Arthur was all for simply charging in and killing at random. Fortunately, Leon pointed out that there were over 400 men in the castle and each of them and Arthur only had 20. They had decided to all take on the garb of pirates looking to hire the warlord for a raid on another Kingdom and put Gwaine as the leader because Arthur was easily recognizable.

A deal was struck after some convincing and Gwaine had crowed to Arthur about how much better a negotiator he was. Arthur hadn’t been in the mood to appreciate it. He was too focused on the plan. Wait till everyone was drunk and late that night they would find out if the prisoner was Merlin. If it was Merlin, kill everyone at least that was Arthur’s plan. He might just decide to kill everyone anyway because if it wasn’t Merlin they wouldn’t have any more leads and he’d have to go home empty handed once again. He couldn’t bear the thought of that, as much as he was terrified of what they would find.

So when the Master of the Castle came out with the prisoner quietly shuffling behind him it was all he could do to not leap over and strangle him right then and there. He knew. He knew deep in the pit of his soul what he was looking at and the color drained out of his face.

The prisoner seemed to be relieved when he was directed to his spot and simply did as bid. The iron mask he wore looked heavy and uncomfortable. It completely hid Merlin’s face, his eyes... everything. He was dressed in a simple yet clean tunic and breeches. One of his hands was bandaged. Most of his body was covered but Arthur could tell that moving hurt even from across the room with three tables between them.

The mask was fine craftsmanship, chiseled perfectly to form over every feature and set to give only a small amount of freedom. It was a stern iron color, elegantly detailed with a myriad of old runes. There was a small slit for the lips and even smaller slit for his eyes. How could he possibly see in that? My god, how did he eat? Drink? Arthur’s rage threatened to spill out and was only contained by Leon who had a firm grip on his arm. Leon forced him to remain in his chair while Sebastian spoke with Gwaine.

The man in the mask didn’t lift his head and didn’t move.

“Stick to the plan, Arthur.” Leon hissed. “You’ll ruin everything. Are you sure it’s him?”

“I know it.” Arthur was adamant. “I just ... do.” He couldn’t explain why, he just did. He knew Leon was right, he knew it. He would have to wait until later.

Merlin was trying to keep himself coherent. The smells and the food were a different sort of torture to his senses and he was ... always ... mostly starving. He had to concentrate; he had to think of some way of keeping his focus because this would be his only chance.

People’s voices were always muffled when he heard them because of the mask and he thought for a moment. He recognized a voice. Merlin dared not raise his head because disappointment would be hard to bear but as the words continued to flow between Sebastian and the man he couldn’t help it. Was he another hallucination? Sometimes it happened. He tried to angle his head properly but it was very difficult to actually see faces properly.

“Look!” Arthur hissed at Leon. “He’s trying to look at Gwaine. It is Merlin.”

“Calm down, Arthur. I see that, we still have to stick to the plan.”

What would Gwaine be doing here? Merlin’s heart raced. Surely not joining up? Then again, Gwaine said he wandered but he wouldn’t serve a Mercenary, would he? He caught a glimpse just then of the chain that Gwaine always wore around his neck and knew it. Gwaine was here! Breathing became a little difficult and he knew it was a bad idea to draw attention so he looked down again.

 _Look up again Merlin, look around._ Arthur tried to make him do it through strength of will alone from across the room. _I’m here._

Somehow, Merlin found himself looking up again. He gave a light growl of frustration when the mask wrecked his vision which Sebastian of course noticed.

“My apologies, Sir Gwaine.” The Mercenary used the fake title that Gwaine had given himself for this venture. “This one has a problem with manners.” His hand snaked out and grabbed Merlin’s bandaged hand and squeezed. “Be silent, wretch!” He flung the hand back which caused Merlin to keel over backwards from the effect.

Merlin gave a low howl of pain and clutched his hand as he now lay sprawled on the ground.

That was too much for Arthur. “On Me!” He leapt from his chair and drew out his sword much to the surprise of the now somewhat drunk men in the dining hall.

Gwaine had a fairly good position since he was right in front of the Mercenary leader and instantly drew his own sword to place it at the man’s throat just as he was about to give the order to attack. “Tut Tut, I think not.” Gwaine shook his head. “Honestly, you couldn’t follow a plan to save your life.” He glared briefly at Arthur and looked down at the man on the ground. “Merlin?”

Merlin couldn’t think, he was fairly sure he heard his name but this could all just be another hallucination. He could only nod. Was that Arthur’s voice?

Gwaine then took matters into his own hands. “I suggest you tell your men to stand down or I will run you through.” He told the leader. “Merlin, can you get up?”

Merlin shook his head, he couldn’t move at the moment. He was too dazed. “Arthur?” he croaked, voice sounding hollow, raw and cracked.

“Princess is here.” Gwaine assured him, sword still at Sebastian’s neck.

Merlin staggered to his feet and lifted his chin slightly so that he could see what Gwaine was doing. There were chains on his ankles and they made a slight scrape on the ground.

“Come over here, Merlin.” Gwaine’s hand outstretched to him. “We’re getting you out of here.”

Merlin gave Gwaine his good hand and forced his feet forward. The strong grip on his hand reassured him a little bit. Dreams never felt like this. “I can’t run.” Merlin whispered hoarsely. Gwaine scowled at Sebastian and gripped the other man’s shirt in order to drag him up and use him as leverage to get them all out alive.

Arthur and the others were moving forward towards Gwaine and Merlin. “Merlin!” Arthur called.

Merlin heard Arthur’s voice and just knew it had to be another one of those hallucinations. When Gwaine passed him to Arthur and he felt the Prince’s hand in his and could partially see Arthur’s face it was too much, his legs buckled and Arthur caught him before he collapsed.

He didn’t remember being carried out of there in Arthur’s arms.

He did remember waking up the first time to the sounds of birds chirping.

It was the next morning. His mask remained on but he was outside. He woke with a start, then a groan. He was lying on a bedroll next to a fire. There was a red cloak over him and Arthur was sharpening his sword. “Merlin!” Arthur immediately dropped his sword and turned to him to help him up. “We couldn’t get that thing off. What did they do to you?”

“Enchantment.” Merlin mumbled. “Go away. I don’t want to dream today.” He turned away from Arthur and promptly passed out again.

“It’s not a dream Merlin!” Arthur hissed angrily.

“Take it easy on him.” Gwaine came upon them. “The best thing we can do is get him back to Camelot and hope Gaius has some information on this mask. It looks like he’s been through hell. We won’t know the extent of his injuries until he’s safe.”

“You can’t come with us.” Arthur reminded him.

“I know, I’ll go find Lance and tell him what’s happened. I’ll be close. It’ll be up to you to take care of him, Arthur. Can I trust you to do that?” Gwaine watched Arthur very carefully in that way he had that it was obvious he cared about Merlin just as much as Arthur did.

“I will.” Arthur promised. “I’m not letting him out of my sight. I wish you’d let me kill that bastard.”

“Merlin is the priority. Revenge can come later.” Gwaine gave him a friendly punch. “I’ll be off now.”

The journey home was much the same as the first morning with Merlin twisting and turning, feverish unbelieving and not once did he accept that Arthur was real. Once or twice, he’d even tried to run away. Finally they had to resort to tying him up to keep him in place. Arthur couldn’t wait to get him somewhere where he could keep him contained and safe ... and get that damned mask off. He wanted to see Merlin’s eyes. He wanted him to be Merlin again and to tell him nothing had changed. To tell him how much he loved him. There had been no time for any conversation and what little of it was told him that Merlin still didn’t believe he was real and still believed he was back in his cell.

He would make the person responsible pay dearly!

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm bad at chapter summaries.  
> Arthur takes care of Merlin.:)  
> Arthur has found out about the extent of Merlin's injuries.  
> Gaius goes to visit a friend who may know something about the mask.

Warlock in the Iron Mask: Chapter 3

Gwen knocked on his door several days after he’d brought Merlin back. “Arthur? Arthur, Are you in there?”

Arthur startled awake. He yawned hugely and cricked his neck. He had fallen asleep in his chair. “Yeah, m’here, enter.” He fixed her a desperate look as she opened the door carrying a tray of food. “Is there any change?”

“No, I’m sorry, Arthur.” Gwen put the tray down on his desk. “Morgana asked me to bring you this, she thought I might be able to convince you to get a full meal down. Arthur are those the same clothes you wore yesterday?”

Arthur shifted uncomfortably. He’d had little time to think about himself. “Um...” he stammered and sighed. He shook his head, “Not hungry.”

“But Sire, you haven’t eaten much of anything at all. You need to keep your strength up.” Gwen tsked a bit like a younger sister might. Ever since they’d realized their feelings were just puppy love she’d taken to being more like a mother hen then a potential girlfriend. “You haven’t eaten properly since we brought him back and your father is starting to get concerned.”

Arthur snorted, “That would be a first. All he cares about is whether or not I can give him a good marriage and an heir.” He had been bitter for a long time. Uther hadn’t understood why he couldn’t give up on Merlin. They’d fought a lot about it. He’d even been imprisoned twice for going off without permission. In the end, Uther had thrown up his hands and turned a blind eye to it.

And Merlin, Merlin hadn’t said a word to him since they came back. Arthur had carried him to his old room where he lived with Gaius. When he had fully woken up he wasn’t at all cooperative. He hadn’t believed that he was actually rescued. Eventually, Gaius had to sedate him and he’d been kept like that while they worked on his injuries. It was almost as if Merlin didn’t trust his own senses.

After the first couple of days it had hurt too much to stand there, watch and not be acknowledged so he had left Gaius to work on his injuries. Merlin wouldn’t respond to anything he said it was pointless for him to be there.

Gaius had made a full gut-wrenching report on the extent of Merlin’s injuries. He had been tortured, many times. Several fingers had been broken more than once, a couple of nails removed. His feet...god his feet ... hot coals, Arthur shuddered at the memory of reading that report. Gaius wasn’t sure if Merlin was going to be able to walk properly again. Running was certainly out of the question. The report was on his desk. He’d poured over it last night, heartsick. Gaius had managed to get a few words from Merlin. They had been trying to get information on Camelot’s defenses and Merlin hadn’t given them anything. So the torture continued nearly daily. And yet, they didn’t completely ruin him, Merlin had told Gaius they had orders not to. Orders from someone higher up, a King, he believed. This had happened because Merlin worked for him.

Gwen followed his eyes to the report. “It’s going to take time Arthur. He started to speak a few words to Giaus.” Her voice was gentle, supportive. “He’s been through a lot. It’s not going to help him if you don’t keep your strength and eat. He wouldn’t want this. I think he would much rather see you as you normally are.”

“Are you sure he would?” Arthur looked at Gwen miserably. “This is my fault. This happened to him because of me.” Honestly after reading the report he couldn’t bear to eat. Gaius hypothesized that because they haven’t been able to remove the mask, Merlin didn’t believe this was a true rescue. He must still think he’s going to wake up back in his cell.

“I know Merlin.” Gwen smiled at the Prince. “I know he’d want to see Prince Arthur. He’s my friend too, you know. Anyway, Gaius has found something regarding the mask. He has set out today to a friend of his in a village to the south. He asked me if you would look after Merlin today. I will, of course, help you.”

“He flinches when I touch him.” Arthur’s voice was hollow. “He doesn’t say anything to me.”

“Oh, Arthur.” Gwen was sympathetic. It was common knowledge in the castle how much Arthur loved Merlin. It was written all over his face. Everyone knew it ... except Merlin and Uther. And at the same time, everyone went out of their way to make sure Uther never found out that the reason Arthur searched for Merlin was not out of loyalty but out of love. “You have to be strong, Arthur. You have to give him time. What he needs from you is your courage.”

“I will try.” Arthur nodded reluctantly. “I’ll do it.” He wasn’t much of a nursemaid but he’d do what needed to be done. “God, Gwen. I can’t believe what they did to him!” His voice trailed off because he couldn’t bring himself to speak of it.

“Please get cleaned up and eat. I’ll stay down there until you come down. Gaius has already changed and dressed his bandages this morning.” Gwen instructed. She knew exactly how he felt. She too was filled with rage about how Merlin had been treated and she was equally sure she did not want to talk about it either. “Give him time, Arthur. He’ll come back to you.”

“I hope that’s true. I need him, Gwen.” Arthur exhaled. “I’ll be down there shortly, thank you.” To appease her he took one of the sweat meats on the tray and stuffed it in his mouth. She smiled approvingly and was gone shortly thereafter.

Once he’d made himself presentable, he found himself alone in the Physicians Quarters. Merlin of course, was in his room. Arthur had spent the last twenty minutes pacing as he attempted to psyche himself up. The physician had left instructions for the day he would have to follow, provided Merlin let him get close enough.

“This is ridiculous.” Arthur muttered, “I’m the crown prince of Camelot, I shouldn’t be afraid to look at my manservant.” He took the small items that Gaius had left for him and finally strode to Merlin’s room. “Merlin?” He knocked on the door gently.

No answer.

Arthur could swear he heard shaky breathing, however, so he slowly opened the door and hi s mouth opened “What are you doing?”

Merlin didn’t respond. He had thrown off all his clothes or torn them off or something and was huddled in a small ball in the corner of the room.

“It’s just me, Merlin.” Arthur assured him gently. “What are you doing? It’s cold, you shouldn’t be well, you should have clothes on.”  
  
No answer.

“I want to understand why you won’t look at me. The Merlin I know would not be like this. He wouldn’t have taken any of this!” Arthur tried a different tactic. “Come on, on your feet!”

Merlin cringed at the tone which of course made Arthur feel worse and he held out a hand as if to stop Arthur from coming any closer. “Ok. Ok...” he whimpered. Merlin dragged himself up to his feet which were still raw and aching but he wasn’t going to let Arthur talk to him like that. He knew he wasn’t going to stay upright for long but he lifted his head, the mask shifting slightly as he tried to get at least a partial glimpse of Arthur.

Encouraged, Arthur pressed on. “You’re not going to get any stronger if you just lie there and take everything that comes at you!” He was hoping that his tone might click in Merlin’s survival instincts. He was NOT prepared for the site of Merlin’s nude form. There were bruises, scars, some new, some old. His hands were bandaged, so were his feet and there was medicine worked into scars and other parts of his body, ankles and wrists.

“What...” Merlin rasped, somewhat insolently as he stood tall, naked and unashamed. “What makes you think I took ... any of this ... lying down?” He swallowed, “I fought. I fought until I couldn’t move, Arthur.”

All the wounds, the vision of the proof of what had happened to Merlin did not in any way make him any less of the beautiful young man that Arthur had fallen for. Fallen hard, fallen so hard that tears prickled in his eyes. “Sit down before you fall down.”

Merlin complied after a moment of defiance.

“I wish you would talk to me, Merlin.” Arthur sighed as he went to a set of drawers and found fresh clothing. He pulled out a tunic and pants. “This doesn’t change anything. I don’t think any less of you. I know you fought, I can see the evidence of that.” He headed back over towards the other man and stood in front of him.

Merlin wasn’t sure what Arthur was doing so he sort of just sat there, head tilted upwards so that he could sort of see his face.

“Arms up.” Arthur made a motion similar to the many times he had done it for him. He shook out the tunic and held it open. It was clearly a difficult for Merlin to hold his arms up so Arthur gently helped him and carefully slid the tunic over Merlin’s head and got one arm in, then the other. He slipped it down and snug, “There, that’s better. Not so cold now.” The pants were set aside for the moment while he leveled himself so that he could try and find Merlin’s eyes.

“I fought them, Arthur.” Merlin rasped. “With everything I had.”

“Merlin...” Arthur didn’t want him to apologize but he did anyway.

“Arthur, I’m sorry.”

“What have you got to be SORRY for?” Arthur wanted to know.

“Magic,” Merlin mumbled. He reached up to the mask and tugged at it. “I have magic. That’s why they put this on.”

“Oh that.” Arthur exhaled. “We’ll talk about that another time. I’m just glad you’re talking to me finally.” He wanted to reach over and take one of Merlin’s hands but they looked painful and he didn’t want to cause any further aches.

Merlin sighed, “You really looked for me?”

“Every damn day, Merlin” Arthur instead lay his fingers gently over Merlin’s heart. “I’m just happy we found you alive.”

A few moments passed and when he didn’t remove his hand Merlin coughed a bit fitfully. “My head hurts.” He complained softly.

“Oh...” Arthur snapped his fingers. “Gaius gave me something to rub on your neck. It’s supposed to help relieve the heavy feeling of the mask.”

“You’re staying here with me today?” Merlin wondered as he shifted a bit to lie back down on the bed.

“Not letting you out of my site.” Arthur told him with a blithe little smile. “Is it okay?”

“You’re not as good a nurse as Gwen.” Merlin said grumpily. “But you’ll do.”

Those words and the light tone gave Arthur a little hope. The insolent, lovable goof he adored was still in there. He took the salve and thought about the best way to rub it in. He opted for sitting on the edge of the bed and having Merlin lean against him. “Just relax.”

While Merlin lay there, he applied the salve to the raw neck. It pained him to see the marks left by the helmet and hoped the salve would help. It seemed to relax him a little and he could smell a slight balmy scent.

“Arthur...” Merlin murmured his name and it gave him a delighted thrill. “Can’t see you properly, can I touch you?”

“Yes, anywhere you like.” Arthur’s response came out in a rush, faster than he had intended.

Merlin reached up with his good hand and rubbed the skin of Arthur’s cheek with his knuckles. The fingers traveled slowly up and over the contours of his face. He delicately stroked Arthur’s nose and traced circles along his cheekbones, ran his fingers through Arthur’s hair and slid them down his neck then up again over his jaw and lips. His fingers lingered on Arthur’s lips.

Being touched by Merlin in a purely platonic way was its own form of torture.

“It is you.” Merlin said at last as he lay back down on the pillow and drew his hand away from Arthur’s face.

Arthur didn’t want the touching to stop but he’d be damned if he took advantage of anything right now. “You can touch me anywhere you want to, Merlin.” He couldn’t help but stress anywhere. He of course, wasn’t going to do anything. He summoned all his willpower to NOT do anything.

“It has to be you.” Merlin’s tongue tsked and he let out a hoarse chuckle. “Only you would want to be touched everywhere when I can only use three fingers and have zero energy.”

The chuckle made Arthur’s heart leap but the yawn that followed made him worry. Merlin had been sleeping most of the time he was rescued, when would he be strong enough to walk around? “Can I bring you anything?”

“I’m tired, Arthur.” Merlin yawned again in his best I don’t want to dismiss you because you’re the Prince but you can go now tone.

“Gaius said you should have some food. When you wake up again, you’d better be ready to eat.” Arthur told him sternly.

“Yes, _Sire_.” Merlin spoke in the tone he usually used when he thought Arthur was being a Prat.

 _He’ll come back to me._ Arthur was sure. _A little bit at a time._

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Um.:) I have no idea where this came from  
> Arthur feeds Merlin.   
> Merlin finds out Arthur's true nature.  
> Uther is actually supportive off-screen.

Warlock in the Iron Mask Ch 4

When Merlin fell back to sleep Arthur relaxed a little. It had been extremely difficult but he has summoned all of his courage to make it through that initial encounter. His heart ached. He tucked the covers up and got another blanket to drape over him.

Once Merlin was snug and secure, Arthur’s mind raced back to the report and the reason why he’d kept himself completely in check. He knew, he wished to god he didn’t but he knew the full extent of what his friend had suffered. It made him boil with rage at the warlord that did this. Once Merlin had recovered, he was going to take care of that man. He was going to capture him alive and give him to Merlin as a present. What that man had done... Arthur shuddered. He had to force himself to think about it, to remember because every action from him could hinder Merlin’s fragile grip on reality.

When he thought about it, it only made the anger worse. He had to fight back tears of frustration and sorrow, for Merlin had suffered the thing that no one should. Not Ever, not in his Kingdom at least. He would never condone it, never allow it, and never let anyone get away with it. He closed his eyes and finally acknowledged it to himself because he had to process it. On top of everything else, Merlin had been, Arthur sighed as his heart clenched. He had to call it what it was. He had been raped. Gaius was very thorough in his examination.

His precious, innocent Merlin had suffered unspeakable agony because of him. Arthur wiped away the tears since he had no right to cry. He was responsible for this. Him alone, he sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He’d spend the rest of his life just trying, trying to make up for what happened. He’d try anything.

Though he had been there stewing for hours, he refused to leave Merlin’s room. Once or twice, messages came for him. Leon had come by pay his respects and so had Morgana and Gwen. Most surprising of all, his father had stopped in. He’d read the full report and even a hardened King had been moved.

“Amazing,” Uther had said, “The loyalty the boy has for you, Arthur. I will do something for him when he is back on his feet and out of that contraption.”

It had set Arthur’s mind at rest regarding his father. Apparently Giaus had had a long talk with Uther. Gaius had apparently convinced Uther that someone had mistaken the boy for a sorcerer and by the time the mask was on him it was too late. Uther and he had fought endlessly over it and he was glad to have his father’s support. Uther laid a hand on his shoulder. “No one deserves what happened to him.” There were times when his father could be human and this was one of them. He might be singing a different tune if he knew about Merlin’s magic, Arthur knew, but for the time being he just ... he needed Uther’s support. He couldn’t deal with an emotional war on two fronts. Uther had stayed for a little while and talked to him about passing harsh laws against this kind of thing and eventually left him to his watch.

The chair in Merlin’s room wasn’t very comfortable but Arthur was not in the mood to care. Sometime early in the afternoon, Merlin began to mutter fitfully in the bed. Arthur immediately snapped to attention and moved towards the bed. He was worried about touching him but Merlin was flailing.

“No! No! Leave me alone!” Merlin cried out.

“Merlin, Merlin it’s okay.” Arthur said urgently. “It’s just me. It’s Arthur. Calm down, you’ll hurt yourself, break open a stitch.” Arthur leant over the bed and tried to calm him down by touching his shoulder gently. “You’re ok. You’re safe now.”

“NO!” Merlin shouted desperately. “I know it’s not real. You’re not real! Merlin kicked out and then threw the bedclothes off in his struggle to get away. He kicked and punched and landed quite a few heavy blows. “I don’t know anything, I swear!” he whimpered. “Please... please don’t.” And that’s when the screaming started and he sobbed with terror.

Arthur tried to get him to calm down, to hold him in place before he hurt himself taking every kick or punch that Merlin dished out. “Merlin settle down..shhh. It’s alright, it’s me. It’s Arthur. I’m here. Oh...God.” His voice wavered. “Merlin, please calm down.”

Merlin cried and flailed and struggled a few more minutes and finally he went slack in Arthur’s arms.

“Easy... Easy now. I’ve got you.” Arthur rubbed circles on his back to calm him down always keeping his voice low and soft. “It’s Arthur, Merlin. I’m here. You’re safe.”

“I can’t see you... I can’t see you.” Merlin’s bleated, “Arthur!” He reached up and tried to touch Arthur’s face again just to reassure himself he wasn’t dreaming. “Arthur...” He whimpered.

“Still here” Arthur whispered softly.

“Don’t... Don’t go.” Merlin drew a long shuddering breath and settled down. Arthur wrapped his arms around him and just simply held him. “You’re here...” Merlin exhaled and rubbed his hand against Arthur’s chest. “Why? Why is it still on? Are you... Are you afraid of me?”

Once his mind processed what Merlin was asking, Arthur’s heart fell. Merlin thought the mask wasn’t removed because he ... “NO!” He almost shouted. “No, Merlin. You mustn’t ever think that!” He said adamantly. “I’m not afraid of your magic. Just listen to me. I’m not afraid of your magic. I trust you with my life, Merlin. Gaius has gone to talk to a friend of his. We will get it off, I promise you. I promise you. We just don’t know how right now.”

“It hurts.” Merlin groaned, let Arthur hold him and eventually became calm.

After a long while of simply holding and rocking him, Arthur began to realize he STILL didn’t have any pants on. Shit. If he looked down, he could even sort of see it there, just under the tunic. He was pleasantly distracted from that thought when Merlin’s good fingers started to play in his hair. God it was distracting. What was he thinking about again?

“Arthur...” Merlin murmured.

“What?” Arthur’s breath hitched as Merlin’s fingers brushed across his ear, a particularly sensitive zone.

“I want to see you.” Merlin said softly, “fully. I can’t... I can only see parts. It feels like I’m dreaming.” He hated it. “How have you managed without me?”

God, Merlin’s fingers in his hair was like a drug. Even though it was just weak petting it was more contact than he ever thought he’d get from him. “Huh?”

“Did you...” Merlin stroked the hairs on the back of his neck and Arthur fought hard to suppress a low moan. “How did you get on without me? Who looked after you?”

“I didn’t...” Arthur said gruffly, breathless. “I didn’t hire anyone. There hasn’t been anyone since you. I couldn’t replace you.”

Merlin gave a soft shaky laugh. “So, I’m not entirely useless then?”

“Uh-uh.” Arthur had never been stroked like this before and too late he remembered he’d told Merlin he could touch him anywhere. This hadn’t exactly been what he’d meant but that was okay.

Merlin sighed softly, pleased and before Arthur could say anything else Merlin’s stomach growled. “I’m hungry.”

“I’ll get you something!” Arthur was elated that Merlin had even talked about wanting food. “Just-“

“Just what?” asked Merlin.

“I have to leave for a minute to do it. Are you going to be okay?”

“Leave the door open, so I can hear you.” Merlin suggested softly.

Arthur carefully arranged Merlin back on the bed and lifted up his good hand. He lifted it to his lips and kissed his knuckles without thinking.   
  
Merlin gave a sharp intake of breath, but he didn’t snatch his hand away. “Wh...” he stuttered.

“Just being a better Nurse than Gwen.” Arthur grinned at him. “I’ll be right back.”

Merlin snorted and laughed. “You could never be a better nurse than Gwen...”

“Oh why’s that?” Arthur wanted to know, lips turning slightly into a pout.

“Your chest isn’t as soft as hers.” Merlin snickered.

Arthur snorted and shot back “Well we’ll see about that!” He turned to collect himself and head out to the great room of the Physicians Quarters. As he began to gather the food he wondered at the implications of that comment. Arthur had never been sure of Merlin’s preference. That’s why he’d never made a move, too afraid of rejection. He was too afraid that if he’d done anything Merlin would quit and never come back. He wore his heart on his sleeve according to Morgana. To her it was blindingly obvious just as much as his puppy love for Gwen. So he’d never done anything, never let on and Merlin was oblivious. Morgana had told him he was a fool for being so fixated on someone who may not love him back in the way he wanted. Maybe he was. He didn’t know. If Merlin didn’t want him, he didn’t know what he’d do. He would have to give up on marrying for love.

He eventually managed to get everything together and found the special spoon that Gaius had left out. It would help Merlin to eat as long as the bites were small. With all this he headed back to Merlin’s room. He knocked on the door gently and frowned faintly when Merlin was startled. “It’s just me.” He assured him. “Arthur.”

“I know. Sorry.” Merlin visibly relaxed. “Not used to it.”

“Don’t be sorry, nothing for you to be sorry for.” Arthur told him adamantly as he set the tray of food down. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Merlin had not yet put pants on and really... really he should because that, even a glimpse of it, was very distracting. He also found unsettling that Merlin wasn’t at all trying to cover himself up. He didn’t even notice. He was very glad that Merlin couldn’t see the flush creeping up his neck. He sat down in his previous spot. “Do you need help?”

“Maybe if you hold the bowl” Merlin nodded.

The process was slow and painful to watch. It took about half an hour for Merlin to force down only a small amount of the food, only a handful of spoonfuls. After each one he would stop and chew and he’d make a miserable little sound. Eventually he shook his head, “I’m done, hurts too much.”

“That’s not nearly enough.” Arthur argued. “You have to eat more than that. You need to get your strength up.”

“It _HURTS_ Arthur, it hurts when I move my jaw.” Merlin held up his hands, ready to defend himself.

“I know, I’m sorry, but you need to eat. Just a few more, okay?”

“Arthur, why are you doing this?” Merlin demanded.

Arthur shrugged, “Gaius is gone for the day.” He couldn’t help but be slightly defensive.

“Still, anyone could be looking after me. You didn’t have to be here.” Merlin prodded.

Arthur touched the bridge of his nose and sighed, “Do you want me to leave?”

“NO.” Merlin said almost desperately, he reached out and grasped Arthur’s sleeve as much as he could. “I just don’t want you to be here out of obligation.”  
  
“GODS, Merlin. That is NOT why I’m here.” Arthur said a little too harshly. “Do we have to talk about this now? I just want you to get better. That’s all I want.” He tried to keep a tremor out of his voice but he wasn’t a very good liar.

“Okay... okay.” Merlin whispered softly. “But it still hurts.”

“I think Gaius left something for that.” Arthur was glad for a distraction from the current conversation. He rose to check the list. “Ah... something for your lips, supposed to help ease the pressure. Great, it’s not a potion you have to rub it in. How does he expect me to...” He studied the mask thoughtfully. The slit was big enough, just. “I think I can get my small finger in there.” He nodded. “Will you let me try?”

Merlin gave a breathy little “Yes.”

Arthur coated his finger with the salve. It smelled kind of nice actually, better than most of Gaius’ medicine. “This one doesn’t look too bad.” He mused as he sat back down and tilted Merlin’s chin upwards. “Need to get a good angle. Can you see me?”

“I see your chin.” Merlin muttered.

“Try this.” Arthur adjusted himself again and tried to get the right angle. “Now? Can you see my eyes?”

Oh, yes, yes he could. Merlin let out a pleased sigh. “There you are.” And there they were! Arthur’s eyes were the most beautiful pair of eyes he’d ever seen and he’d missed them terribly. He could just stare into them for hours if he was allowed. “Arthur...” he whispered.

“It’s alright.” Arthur reassured him. “Just focus on me.”

He could sort of see Merlin’s eyes in the shadows of the mask at this angle and it was a rather awkward one. He wasn’t sure how long he could keep his balance. Carefully, gently as if he was touching a baby bird, Arthur inserted his finger into the small slot. “Easy now, relax. No sudden movements. I don’t want to lose MY finger.” It was the first time he’d ever touched Merlin’s face in any way. He carefully applied the salve and Merlin seemed to murmur in approval. Then he gave a soft little whimper and Arthur froze. He was ... He was ... sucking. Merlin was sucking on the tip of his finger.

Merlin was sucking on the tip of his finger.

It took Arthur’s brain several minutes to catch up with what was happening. His body, however, had caught up LONG before that. It took every single ounce of willpower he had left to draw his finger out and release Merlin’s chin. God. What had just happened?

Merlin sighed and leant back on the pillows. Multiple since Arthur had brought several down. To his great surprise, Arthur could see that Merlin was aroused. It was the last thing he’d expected. “That felt good.” Merlin didn’t seem to even realize he was aroused. “I think I’m okay to eat a little more now.”

Arthur wasn’t caught up yet. “Felt good.” He swallowed, took in a few heavy breaths. “Felt good.” His brain was on fire. What was Merlin talking about? Food.

“Arthur, are you alright?” Merlin asked in a puzzled tone.

“I’m ... I’m.” Arthur swallowed, his body wasn’t ready to let him think yet.

“Food?” Merlin gestured towards the bowl and pointed at his mouth as though Arthur had suddenly been stricken dumb.

Arthur stared at him. “You don’t feel it?”

“Huh? Oh.” Merlin’s voice faltered as it finally dawned on him what had Arthur so agitated. “Just ignore it please. It’ll go away.”

“Merlin, do you know what’s happening?”

“I don’t want to talk about it!” Merlin growled suddenly.

He seemed, Arthur paled, oh gods he seemed ashamed. “I’m not upset by it, far from it.” He tried to assure him. “Are you... Are you reacting to me?” He was afraid of the answer but he had to ask.

Merlin’s voice was hollow. “I don’t know. Please, just let it go.”

“ _Mer_ lin!” Arthur shifted closer. “I don’t expect anything. I don’t want anything. I just want you to know. It’s not just you reacting.” He took one of Merlin’s hands and guided it down. He placed it carefully over his own very hard bit, just a light touch.

Merlin gasped and Arthur sucked in his breath. He snatched his hand away immediately... and then he put it back and squeezed slightly, curiously. Arthur groaned. “Wow...” Merlin whispered, amazed.

“That’s all you can say? _Wow_?” Arthur raised an eyebrow.

“H—hheh.. Wow. That’s for me. It’s hard.” Merlin was the master of obvious, apparently.

“It’ll get harder if you keep that up.” Arthur gulped.

“But... You like girls! I know you do.” Merlin accused him.

“H-hah..” Arthur was finding it hard to think, let alone respond. “You’re sometimes like a girl, you know.”

“Shut up.” Merlin smacked Arthur’s shoulder then winced as he shouldn’t have agitated his hand. He sniffled. “I ... I don’t want it. Please Arthur. Please don’t, Arthur.” His breath began to hitch a little.

“No... no, Merlin I would NEVER. I would never force you.” Arthur assured him. “I swear it.”

After a while, Merlin nodded. “I’m still hungry. I’ll have some more now, please.”

And there it was. The rejection he’d feared for the last three years. He hadn’t been expecting it so soon or how much it hurt. It tore at his heart and made him feel bloodied and mutilated inside just as if he had been tortured himself.

“Arthur...” Merlin couldn’t quite understand his silence. After all, he couldn’t read his expression but he could sense Arthur’s anguish. “Just not now, okay?” He clarified gently.

That terrible feeling turned to sudden hope and finally his brain caught up with events. “Food.” Arthur nodded, relieved.

Tension relieved somewhat, he proceeded to make sure that Merlin ate the whole bowl.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm useless at naming chapters so there are no chapter names in this fic.  
> Uther cares about his subjects.  
> Gaius reveals the way Merlin can get rid of the Mask.  
> Arthur is conflicted and emotional.  
> Oh and there's TLC.   
> Comments and kudos are love.:) <3 They keep me inspired.

After Merlin had a whole bowl of soup and some mushy bread he wouldn’t eat anymore and curled up in the covers and blankets. Arthur had been complaining the other day about how bare his quarters were and somehow that convinced everyone in the castle that Merlin’s quarters were entirely unsuitable for recovery. Every so often someone would come down to see him and bring a pillow, an extra blanket, a basket with goodies. His room was getting rather more colorful by the minute.

After the last basket, Arthur had to start putting in the main room. “God, you have a harem, the castle maids used to swoon over _ME_.” He complained as the seventh visitor was a trio of scullery maids from the kitchen who were entirely disappointed when Merlin didn’t want to see anyone. It was Arthur who had to deal with the steady stream of visitors and well-wishers. Everyone wanted to know how Merlin was, it seemed and it surprised and touched Arthur that people cared about him so much. Just what had he done to warrant all that?

If you asked the castle staff... he takes care of Arthur and keeps him in a good mood ... that’s what they’d say as they had been very used to his old self. Arthur had changed for the better ever since Merlin and they were very glad he was back.

Merlin gave a shrug, “I dunno about that. Honestly Arthur, I don’t know where all of this is coming from!” He fingered the latest handmade scarf. “I’m not a charity case.”

“You don’t.” Arthur laughed shortly. “Of course you don’t. How are you feeling?”

Merlin had been sleeping most of the day, less fitfully as long as Arthur was within earshot and he had laughed when he heard about his visitors. “Better.”

Arthur had brought a game of dice that they could play and a few books to read aloud while they waited for Gaius to return. He was trying to make sure that there wasn’t a time when Merlin was alone with his thoughts. “Really?” He was unconvinced.

“Fine, every muscle still aches.” Merlin said tersely.

The bandages on his hands were starting to look a little worn and Arthur gazed at them. He’d loved Merlin’s fingers... so long and graceful. It killed him that someone had broken them and he’d read about the punctures. He didn’t have any clue how to change bandages but he’d watched it happen and he felt he could if he needed to.

“Stop staring.” Merlin snapped.

“I wasn’t!”

“You were. My hands will heal, Arthur. As soon as I get this mask off, I have healing magic. Stop being so worried. I’ll be fine.” Merlin assured him.

“You can’t USE it.” Arthur shook his head, “Not while my father is alive, you know that. He’ll find out!”

The realization dawned on Merlin and depression washed over him. If he had to heal like a normal person... recovery would take a lot longer than he wanted it to.

“Please tell me you won’t.” Arthur gazed at him, worried.

“I can’t make that promise, Arthur.” Merlin shook his head. “My magic may just kick in itself.” He sighed. “I think I need some of that balm that Gaius used, my hands are itching again. It’s probably with the stuff he left for you.”

Arthur heaved an exasperated sigh. He had been trying to keep his distance ever since the afternoon and thankfully Merlin had finally put on pants. He found the bottle from Gaius’ list and description and brought it over along with fresh bandages. “Got it.”

“I can do it myself.” Merlin shook his head when Arthur looked like he was going to help.

“Fine then” Arthur grunted and picked up an apple from one of Merlin’s gift baskets. “Seriously you have more friends in Camelot that you know, Merlin.”

Merlin grunted in response as he started to remove the bandage of his hand with the most damaged fingers. “I’d rather you didn’t look” he paused and tried to angle his head to see if Arthur was staring.

“Merlin.” Arthur muttered.

Merlin sighed and started to peel off the bandage. It was coated with a bit of puss from the welts and stained slightly by the ointment.

“Merlin, let me.” Arthur came closer. “You’ll spill it all over.”

And he was back on the edge of the bed. Merlin was probably glaring at him under the mask. “Fine...” He sighed. “They’re ugly.”

“Not to me.” Arthur said quickly, a little too quickly. He took the first hand like it was made of glass and finished un-wrapping it. Merlin’s poor fingers, he sighed. “Can you feel them?”

“Yeah.” Merlin said uncomfortably.

“Tell me what happened.” Arthur asked softly.

“No.” Merlin turned away and fell silent. “You know what happened, you read the report.”

Arthur took a small jar of alcohol that Gaius had designated for cleansing wounds. He sighed softly when he saw the damage. He gently applied the alcohol. Some wounds were still raw, others healed. Gaius’ ointment was designed to take care of scars and the stiff bandages would help the bones heal. Problem was it had to be removed and reapplied each day. He used to silently worship Merlin’s hands and had many ... many fantasies about them. He was determined to get that Merlin back, whatever he had to do. “They will heal.” He said softly. They already were under Gaius’ expert treatment. He took the ointment from the second jar and rubbed it gently in. He could feel Merlin wince and he glanced up at him. “Did I hurt you?”

“No. I’m okay” Merlin’s breath was very soft.

Arthur did just that. He carefully wrapped the long bandage around, one that Gwen had made up the day before. Over and over he wrapped it until it was secure. Merlin’s other hand he was just as careful with, just as gentle.

“My cheek itches.” Merlin complained trying to ease the tension between them. “Need this thing off already.”

“Soon, Gaius is due back this evening or tomorrow morning. What can I do?” Arthur put Merlin’s hands gently back in his lap and moved to stopper the bottles and toss away the soiled bandages.

“Start being Arthur again.” Merlin said testily.

“huh...?” Arthur swallows.

“Since you came in here this morning you’ve been... well. Too nice, stop it, it’s driving me crazy.” Merlin grumbled.

Arthur sat heavily down in the chair. “ _Merlin._..”

“You’re treating me like glass, Arthur!” Merlin would be glaring if it weren’t for the mask. “I’m not glass! I’m not going to break.” His voice began to rise, a touch hysterically. “I think I’ve bloody proven that I’m not going to break! So will you just... just...” He shuddered. “Say something prattish; order me around, yell at me, something . I keep thinking...” He sighs. “I keep thinking this is all a dream and I’m going to wake up in that cell and...”

“Merlin. I” Arthur raised his hands in confusion. His mind raced, how could he possibly be like that right now? But if that was what Merlin wanted? He would give it to him. “Stop griping Merlin and pull yourself together, I’m not going anywhere and my boots can’t polish themselves while you lie in bed all day.”

Merlin gave a raw laugh. That was more like it.

He was saved from having to respond to that when there was a sharp exclamation from the main area. “When did my quarters become a giftshop!” Gaius had returned and wasn’t pleased with the stacks of gifts.

“Gaius!” Arthur jumped out of the chair and headed into the room.

The physician had a very large bag with him and was staring incredulously at the amount of gifts. “Who knew?” He muttered. “How is Merlin? Did he eat anything.”

“Yes, he did. I was just about to get him to have dinner. Please tell me what you have found!” Arthur took the bag from Gaius and set it down.

Gaius huffed and headed towards Merlin’s room. He eyed the excess pillows and blankets and assorted other things with a grunt. “Merlin, you never cease to amaze me.” He muttered. “Arthur tells me you ate, how are you feeling? Did you take all the medicines?”

“Arthur made me.” Merlin nodded. “I feel like crud.”

“Good lad.” Gaius nodded.

Arthur couldn’t take it anymore, “Gaius!”

“Calm down, your highness, I have a remedy.”

“Oh thank gods.” Arthur leant against the wall. _Please don’t let it be kiss of true love or anything love related right now. He really just couldn’t take that._ He’d do it, but how exactly?

“Well.” Gaius said faintly. “There is no magic that will remove that mask, Merlin.” He looks sad and kind.

“No...” Merlin whimpered. “No, there has to be a way to get it off! I can’t live like this.” He couldn’t even call the dragon.

“The mask, Merlin, is part of you now. You’ve worn it too long. “ Gaius sat down in the chair as he patted Merlin’s arm with his calm way. “It is ancient magic and these things are testy. It’s very simple really. You have to be ready for it to come off.”

“What? What the HELL does that mean?” Arthur thundered. “Of course he wants it off!” Too late he realized he’d shouted

Merlin sniffled. “I don’t understand.” His shoulders shook as though he might be about to cry.

“When they first put this on you, Merlin, you hadn’t gone through what you did. Had you been rescued in a week or two we could have removed it. But you’ve had it on for half a year. It’s part of you now. It reacts to you. Now, my boy, don’t fret.” Gaius reassured him gently after throwing a glare at Arthur. One of Gaius’ glares always got him to back down. It was ludicrous.

“You are going to have to look at why you don’t want it off and figure that out. Once you have, my source assures me that the mask will simply vanish. In the meantime, we’ll take care of you and fix the parts of your body we can fix.”

Magic ... He hated it. Arthur fumed. “There must be something I can do.”

“You Arthur, can help Merlin find what’s holding him behind that mask.” Gaius told the Prince. “I’m sure you have somewhere else to be right now and you’ve been down here all day I’ve been told. Your father wishes to speak to you.”

He didn’t want to leave but Gaius could be scary when he wanted to be. He reached over to lay a hand on Merlin’s shoulder. “I’ll come by tomorrow.” He promised as he turned to walk out. Merlin didn’t respond, wouldn’t look at him. “ _Mer_ lin? Do you want me to?” Arthur’s mind was full of questions now. It was a mental thing, how could he fix that? What could he do?

Merlin nodded finally.

Gaius took a look at Merlin’s new hand dressings and eyed Arthur carefully. “Good job, your highness.” He nodded approvingly. “Now go find your father.”

Arthur sighed. This was a conversation he didn’t want to have yet but he’d been avoiding it for too long. He went to Uther’s chambers and was admitted.

“Arthur.” Uther was getting ready for bed. “How is the boy?”

He was still surprised that his father was actually being nice about everything. “Coping” Arthur’s shoulders were tense.

“He’s a servant, but a loyal one.” Uther continued, pouring some brandy from a decanter for both of them. “There are plenty of things he could have told our enemies. I have been speaking with Geoffrey about what can be done for him.”

“You have?” Arthur’s mouth opened in surprise.

“Yes. I-“ Uther looked upset, actually upset. “Merlin is a citizen of Camelot and should never have been subjected to such...horror. He’s just a boy, Arthur.”

“He’s almost 20 now.” Arthur smiled slightly. “What did Geoffrey say?”

“That it is within my rights to give him an order of merit. It is by no means a knightly order of course. But one I think he deserves.” Uther said simply.

“What?” Arthur stared at his father. He’d heard of such things, reserved for rare acts of courage and bravery. To endure what Merlin had endured –was- a rare act of courage but that would elevate Merlin’s status. He wouldn’t be a servant anymore. Arthur would see less and less of him.

“The boy sacrificed himself for Camelot, Arthur. I will not let such a deed go unpunished. I don’t understand, Arthur, I thought you’d be pleased.” Uther stared at his son.

“I am.” Arthur was and wasn’t. He was hoping... he was hoping things could go back to normal. He was hoping that he would wake up to Merlin sing-song Rise and Shine once again.

“Then why do you look like you’re sucking on a lemon, out with it boy!” Uther waved his hand expectantly.

“I ...” He didn’t know what to say.

“You want him back as your manservant.” Uther rolled his eyes. “Arthur, that’s ridiculous. He can’t do that now. He’s to be a member of my court and that’s final. You can take another one.”

“I don’t wasn’t anyone else.” Arthur said petulantly, “Father, what if he doesn’t want to be?”

“Nonsense, who would refuse it? He will be in my court and an example to all of how we at Camelot reward those who are loyal and brave.” Uther said adamantly and Arthur recognized that tone of voice. Uther had already made the decision and had already drawn up the papers. It was going to happen whether he liked it or not. Kings could do whatever the hell they liked. If they wanted to raise someone to noble status, they could.

Merlin was going to be elevated from servant status to lord. Uther had made up his mind and there was nothing he could do about it.

His control over his life had just taken a turn for the worse. Arthur didn’t want to be at odds with his father so he simply lifted his glass and they clinked them together. “Thank you for thinking of him, father.”

Uther tutted and waved Arthur off because he was about to sleep anyway.

Arthur left Uther’s chamber and wandered the halls in a daze. So much for his dreams, Merlin would change. Merlin wouldn’t be the boy who snarked at him and called him names. Merlin wouldn’t spend as much time with him. He’d be lucky to see him at a feast. The only consolation he had now was that if Merlin became a noble they could be friends. Real friends! The realization of that dawned on him and he decided that he could handle that.

Then he wondered, would Merlin want to be his friend?

Arthur roamed the castle and finally made it back to his bedchamber.

_Rise and Shine, Arthur._

He stared at his quarters and closed his eyes. He could almost hear Merlin wandering around, prattling about nothing, picking things up and calling him names. Were those days gone forever? He pulled off his shirt and boots and flopped down on his bed. His bed was never made anymore and his rooms were a bit of a mess. He’d clean up eventually.

_Rise and Shine, Arthur._

With a miserable sigh he closed his eyes. He would give –anything- to hear that one more time, just one more time.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Merlin go for a walk.  
> Merlin finds out what Uther has in store for him.  
> :) Love all the comments! :):) Such fun writing this.

Two weeks later Merlin was beginning to show signs of healing. Gaius was very good at his job and was starting to be able to flex his hands very slightly. It still hurt of course and Gaius kept telling him not to rush things but he was just starting to get strength back. Arthur visited him every day and evening but never stayed long and they hadn’t had a chance to talk since. There was always someone there. Every time Arthur came into his room he seemed to want to say something but he didn’t. He laughed and joked like they always had as though that day had never occurred. As though Arthur hadn’t said anything at all and he always came to help Merlin through his daily workout routine that Gaius had insisted upon.

It consisted of walking the length of the room and stretching his leg muscles. Arthur knew it hurt him dreadfully but he kept encouraging banter throughout it all always ready to catch him if he fell. And he had fallen several times at first. His skin was starting to get a healthier shine to it and there was a little meat on his bones. No one said anything about what was in store for him when he was able to walk again.

Then the mask responded but not very much as Gaius said it would. He just assumed he would go back to his old job. One morning Merlin opened his eyes and yawned. In surprise he found he could move his mouth. His lips were free... and his neck. Nothing else yet though, what an odd thing to come free first! The Mask had started to mold to his face, iron sheen picking up the contours of his cheekbones and he reached back to feel the matted hair on the back of his neck, long from imprisonment and raggedy stubble on his chin. His jaw, mouth and neck were free. His eyes were not, however. He sat there on the bed just working his mouth and rubbing his jaw. What had changed? He tried a little magic, still nothing.

“Heads up, Merlin!” Arthur could be heard cheerfully calling from the outside room. As usual he simply barged in... but this time he stopped and gave a sharp intake of breath. All of his walls came crashing down as soon as he saw the change. “Merlin! It’s ...” He couldn’t drag his eyes from Merlin’s lips. “It’s working.”

Merlin yawned again. “I think you’re right.” He couldn’t help but smile.

Arthur gazed up and down his long beautiful neck. It was bruised from the mask but ... free! Merlin’s hair, he could see the raven locks tumbling down the back of his neck and chuckled at the stubble on his chin. “You need a shave, and a haircut.” The rest of his head was still encased in the mask, however but this was something. This meant Merlin was healing.

“Yeah.” Merlin rubbed his neck again. “Maybe I can have proper food today.”

“I’ll bring you a feast!” Arthur declared.

Merlin found it a little easier to angle his head to look at Arthur. He was smiling like he’d just been given the best gift in the world and Merlin’s heart ached a little. He reached over for the bottle and straw that he’d been using and pulled the straw out. With a grin he tossed the straw at Arthur and drank the whole thing. God, that felt good... for too long he had been taking little sips and small bits of food and drink and his stomach craved more.

“Your hands are getting stronger too.” Arthur observed as they were capable of holding the bottle.

“Not broken, Arthur. Not yet.” Merlin set the bottle down quietly and studied the excited Prince. He’d said that line several times in the past couple of weeks and Arthur had been amazing. There were no odd advances and strange confessions only a guiding hand and supportive arm.

“How does the rest of you feel?”

“I’m not ready to go riding any time soon.” Merlin said with a grunt. “But I’d love some chicken, maybe a whole ham...” He smiled shyly and watched Arthur’s eyes glisten. “Definitely no gruel, if you bring me anything mushy I will ...well, very much not like it. I might even throw it at you.” One should not order around a Prince, really.

Arthur gave a laugh, “Now who’s a Prat?” He longed to lunge on the bed and kiss him senseless he was so overcome with joy. But he didn’t, he put on his Prince Arthur look and kept his distance. He’d vowed to himself to do so to give Merlin time and space to heal. “There’s water for you to wash. I’ll help you there then be back with food.” Arthur offered his arm so that Merlin could pull himself up on it.

He walked behind Merlin, ready to catch him as he always was. It felt so weird having his mouth and throat free of that ... thing. Why just that? What more did it want? He shuffled, grunting at the pain in his feet. A wash would feel really good. When he was situated and ready to begin the process Arthur left him alone to tend to it and strode quickly to the kitchens.

Merlin sat on the small bench relieved that Arthur didn’t stay. He had once or twice before but that was back when his feet wouldn’t hold him upright for longer than a few minutes. He ran some soap through the tumbling thick hair at the back of his neck and tugged at the knots. He un-wrapped his feet and set them into the warm lovely water and sighed. It always felt better when they were settled like that. He looked down at them with a light sigh and attempted to wiggle his toes. For the first time in a long time he felt something other than searing pain. Progress, he supposed. Gaius said it would take a long while for them to fully heal since most of the skin had been torn off. Merlin was young and they would heal with the special salves and ointments he had.

If he had his magic, he could heal them immediately. If he had his magic he could take away the memories. He could... Merlin shuddered. Unbidden a memory surfaced and he tensed as a cold sweat crept up his back.

_So lovely, such beautiful white skin. I promise you it will not be there for long. Where is the Armory located? How many guards...I know there is a secret way into Camelot and you will tell me. Where is the key, who has the key?_

_That had been the first time when it had happened. When rough hands had bent him over, spread his legs and before he knew what was happening...._

Merlin jerked with a start. “Damnit.” He his hand shook slightly. _I’m making progress. I don’t want to remember._

He started when he heard Arthur come back into the room a servant following with food. He’d managed to overcome the initial terror of the memory and get himself washed. He wondered dejectedly how long this would go on for as he pulled on his shirt and smiled to greet Arthur. “All set.” He forced the words out of his lips.

The feast Arthur had promised was laid out and his stomach growled in spite of his recent experience. “Man, I think I could eat all that.” Merlin couldn’t help but reach to grab the first thing that he saw and then he was soon scarfing food like a starving man.

“Hey, hey ... take it easy.” Arthur stared. “There’s more where that came from.”

Arthur’s right, of course and Merlin would be sick if he kept this up. So he slowed down a little and started chewing properly for the first time in a while. Eventually they were both sharing the meal and Arthur told him about court antics and the knights training from the previous day. It was slow and relaxed and he soon found himself able to repress the memory once again.

“You should walk outside a little with me today. The fresh air will do you good. Gaius said so yesterday.” Arthur suggested when at last Merlin was full.

Merlin shook his head, “No.” The answer came too quickly and Arthur frowned at him.

“Sunlight will help you build your strength.” Arthur pressed.

“NO!” Merlin struggled to his feet and backed away too suddenly. He fell over and hit the floor before Arthur could rush to his side and cradle him gently. “Stop it...” Merlin didn’t want to be in Arthur’s arms, he didn’t want anyone touching him right now.

Arthur didn’t let go and held him gently until he calmed down, just keeping him steady so he didn’t hurt himself further.

Merlin sighed and relaxed a little while Arthur held him. “Alright, Gaius is right.” He finally agreed. “But only for a little while. I’ll get tired.” He smiled and leant a little into the Prince’s arms.

Arthur gave a soft laugh of triumph and hoisted him to his feet. “You know I’ve told you I’m not going to let you wallow and I meant it.”

“At least let’s brush teeth and wash hands before we head out.” Merlin patted Arthur’s chest fondly.

Arthur’s heart pattered against his chest. Merlin hasn’t voluntarily touched him since he discovered their mutual attraction. He only touches when he needs to. And now he was close. Arthur made the mistake of looking down and seeing Merlin’s tongue lick his lips. The air suddenly became a little thick and warm. If Merlin could properly see he might have been afraid of the hunger in the Prince’s eyes. They were heavy with desire.

“You can let me go now, Arthur.” Merlin spoke again a little fretfully.

Arthur thought. _Never in a million years. Not until the day I die._ And yet, he released Merlin with a nod and once again was forced to draw upon every ounce of his willpower.

Arthur watched him carefully arrange one of his neckerchiefs to hide the bruises and he had noticed that Merlin had shaved and the matted hair was washed. He wondered what it would look like when he was free, long hair down to his shoulders, like Gwaine’s. He would be gorgeous, Arthur decided. Not that he wasn’t already; even with the mask on. Arthur longed to reach out and touch his hair, pull him back and kiss him. Kiss him like he’s never kissed anyone before.

“Arthur?” Merlin called him out of his stupor. “Ready?”

“ _Mer_ lin.”

“What is it Arthur?”

“We have to talk about it sometime.”

Merlin angled his head so that he could see what was bothering Arthur and saw the look in his eyes. He swallowed. “Not now. I’m not ready to deal with it.”

“I know, but don’t forget.” Arthur’s tone was something of a plea.

“Of course not” Merlin assured him. “I haven’t. I just...” He lifted his shoulders helplessly. “I can’t, Arthur. Not yet.” He knew what Arthur was talking about, he knew. He just couldn’t deal with it. He couldn’t deal with Arthur like that. Not yet.

“I’m sorry, I understand.” Arthur said gruffly, pulling his feelings back in to where he could manage them. He’d have a hard time sleeping again.

They headed out the door for the first time since Merlin returned, slowly, since he couldn’t walk very fast and going down the stairs was going to be painful.

“Just tell me when you need to stop and rest and we stop.” Arthur told him. “I’ll take you out to the training field, then back. It’s just a short walk.”

“They’re all going to stare at me.” Merlin took the first couple of steps tentatively and then paused to try and absorb the pain. He was –going- to do this. He needed to.

“No, they’ll be staring at me because I’m much better looking.” Arthur gave him a lopsided smile.

“Are you trying to tally Pratt points this morning?” Merlin tried to keep the pace but a few more steps and he had to rest again.

“Too much?” Arthur positioned himself so that he could either catch him or Merlin could grip his arm if he needed.

“No, I’ve got this.” Merlin was determined. “I need to do this. Slowly, Arthur.”

If Merlin only know how much he loved it when his name was on Merlin’s lips. Many nights he would lie awake and dream about it.

_Arthur Arthur Arthur_

It always ended the same. He would have to finish himself off, alone and with Merlin’s name on his lips.

Merlin and Arthur stepped out onto the cobblestone courtyard and the cool breeze and bright sun was almost blinding. Merlin hid his eyes at first but then lifted his head.

“Do you need to rest?” Arthur asked. That had been a long flight of stairs.

“No, I’m fine.” Merlin lied. His feet were already killing him.

There was a soft squeal of surprise and he turned to see Gwen. She came over to him and threw her arms around him in a gentle hug. “You’re outside!” She slipped her arm in his and smiled at Merlin. “Part of the mask is gone?” She reached up to touch his jaw curiously. “Is the spell fading?”

Arthur wanted to scream at her. _No touching! He’s mine!_ Instead he forced a smile. “It was a nice surprise this morning. So we’re out to walk. He had a good breakfast.”

They were standing in place too long and Merlin swayed slightly. Arthur steadied him and Gwen smiled. She loved to see Arthur’s caring side. “It’s alright, Gwen, I’ll be fine.” Merlin protested when both of them flanked him. “I just need to walk.”

So they continued walking, just a few paces at a time. Gwen chattered to Merlin about how Leon danced with Morgana at a recent event to try and take his mind off of the pain and Arthur kept his attention on Merlin and on those who they ran into. Everyone came up to see how Merlin was. Everyone. It took forever to get from one end of the courtyard to the other. By the time they did, Merlin was exhausted and had to sit down. “I don’t think I’m going to make it to the training field Arthur.” His feet were already starting to feel numb.

“It’s alright, Merlin.” Arthur slipped his arm around Merlin’s shoulders to steady him, “You’ve done really well.”

“You have.” Gwen hugged him. “I have to get back to Morgana, I’ll tell her of your progress. She’ll be very pleased.”

It must be nice to be a girl, Arthur sighed, able to hug a friend without any weird looks.

“Thank you, Gwen.” Merlin smiled at her.

It felt good to see Merlin’s smile, even if it was for Gwen and not him. He had a beautiful smile and it was infectious. He found himself smiling as well. “We’ll rest just a bit here and head back.”

Merlin leant into the crook of Arthur’s arm, uncaring that they were in plain sight. To anyone else, it might just look like Arthur was comforting his friend, that’s all.

“Do you still love Gwen?” Merlin asked him softly.

“No.” Arthur shook his head. “I care about her a lot enough to believe it was love.” He shrugged. “But I don’t love her, Merlin. Do you?” The words came out before he could stop them.

“huh? Gwen?” Merlin had to laugh. “No, she’s a good friend.”

They sat there for a long while Merlin rested and got his strength back. Arthur was relieved to hear it. The last thing he wanted was to worry about that. “Ready?” He asked.

“Yeah, I think.” Merlin tentatively stepped to his feet and they were about to head back when all of a sudden a familiar voice boomed his name.

“Ah, Merlin!” Uther had seen him outside and specifically stopped what he was doing to see the status of his new favorite person. Merlin had never seen Uther sound pleased to see him and he was immediately suspicious. “You’re looking better, is he better, son?”

Arthur cleared his throat and nodded. “He’s walking.”

“Terrible what happened, Merlin. Just terrible, I assure you that you will have justice. I do not condone such things.” Uther patted him on the shoulder.

Merlin was understandably slack-jawed. Uther was being nice to him.

“Father,” Arthur began but Uther waved him off.

“We need to get some meat on your bones.” Uther tutted. “You will join us for dinner tonight, I am very pleased to tell you I have decided to reward your bravery.”

The last time Uther had given him an award he’d made him Arthur’s Manservant. Merlin was understandably a little apprehensive. And more than a little shocked! Dinner with the King and Arthur? What? Did Uther hit his head or something?

“He read the report.” Arthur explained to Merlin under his breath.

“Oh..” Merlin swallowed nervously. “I don’t need a reward sire...” he began. “It was my duty to Camelot.”

“Nonsense, you are Manservant to Prince Arthur. You have access and knowledge of many secrets. Yet you kept them all and endured.” Uther frowned as though he didn’t like to think about what happened. “When I was a young man I had experience with torture, Merlin. I was captured once. It was nowhere near what happened. Since I was the King’s son and rescued very soon after, but I do understand. Had I known that is what they were doing I would have ensured more men sent to rescue you.”

Arthur’s face was a cross between annoyed and incredulous. Really his father could be a damn insensitive ass sometimes.

Merlin had no illusions that the King would ever have sent men after him given his opinion of servants so he just bowed his head and thanked him. “Of course, sire.”

“Since you are no longer a servant... you can rest assured that you are more than welcome at my dinner table once in a while.” Uther looked at Arthur. “You have told him, yes?”

“Wait... huh?” Merlin looked confused.

“You haven’t.” Uther glared at Arthur. “What have you been waiting for?”

“The right moment never came up!” Arthur glared back at his father.

Merlin was rather glad he was already sitting down.

“You’re being made a lord, Merlin.” Arthur explained with a sigh. “The King was moved by your sacrifice and made up his mind. I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

Which basically meant he had no choice but to accept, Merlin was understandably, in shock, “W-what? I’m. What?” Speechless, he could only stare and respond shakily. “T-thank you sire, I” that was all he could say. Any protest would be seen as an insult and Uther did not take insults lightly.

“Good lad.” Uther grinned and turned on his heel. “We’ll see you tonight then.” So, Gaius was right after all. Uther hadn’t missed that Arthur’s arm remained around the young man at all times.

“I swear I had nothing to do with this.” Arthur said urgently as soon as Uther was out of earshot.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” Merlin was finding it difficult to believe. “I mean, do I look like a noble to you? I’ll be a laughingstock! The noble servant! God, what is Uther thinking?”

“I have no idea. And you won’t be, Merlin. Everyone loves you. Stop being a girl, and whining about it, it’s going to happen whether you like it or not.” Arthur had more time to get used to it than Merlin did.

Merlin grunted. “Does this mean you’ll have to treat me with respect?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself.” Arthur muttered

“No more washing your clothes? Cleaning your chamberpot? Mucking out your stables? Polishing your armor? Cleaning your boots? Making your bed? Picking up after you? You won’t even be able to throw things at me.” Merlin started to list out the litany of chores that Arthur often gave him. “This is –great-!”

“ _Mer_ lin...”

“But... Huh, a life of leisure, not sure I’m cut out to being a lazy Pratt like some people.” Merlin didn’t look convinced yet.

“ _Mer_ lin...”

“I might get a real bed out of it though, that would be nice.” Merlin thought that a nice bed would be great.

“ _Mer_ lin for Godsake, there is another thing you can get out of it.” Arthur finally couldn’t take it anymore.

“What’s better than a nice bed?” Merlin wanted to know.

“Me.”

“Oh, well I guess you’re better than a nice bed. What – oh!” It finally dawned on him.

“We can be friends, you idiot.” Arthur scowled.

“Friends. We aren’t already?”

“ _Merl_ in!” Arthur was finally exasperated and he withdrew his arm and ran his hands through his hair. Then he realized something, they were bantering. It was like old times. He drew Merlin into his arms and hugged him, just as Gwen did. Screw traditions. Merlin’s arms didn’t enclose around him at first but eventually they slid around his waist. It felt so good but he forced himself not to do anything suggestive he just hugged Merlin.

He wasn’t sure how long he held Merlin like that before they pulled apart and a troubled smile played across his lips. “I want to go back, please. We can try this again tomorrow. Maybe I’ll make it to the training field. My feet hurt, Arthur.”

“Alright.” Arthur said softly as he they rose and he escorted Merlin back.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is an Awkward Dinner... and some other stuff. :)  
> Let me know what you think. :)

Arthur could feel the tension in Merlin as they slowly made their way back to the Physician’s Quarters.

When they were finally out of earshot from others, Merlin pushed him away and glared at him. “I don’t even know what happened, Arthur. Does the King really expect me to go upstairs and have dinner with you three? What the heck does he expect me to talk about? I don’t even have clothes for that. I can’t properly function at a dinner table. Arthur, I can’t do it. I can’t go up there. There’s got to be a way to change his mind.”

It was clear that Merlin was going to work himself into a panic attack just as it was also clear that once his father set his mind to something nothing short of a miracle would change it. “I’ll be there with you, it won’t be so bad.” Arthur tried to reassure him.

“What do I wear, Arthur? I can’t wear this.”

“You can borrow some of my clothes from when I was younger. They’ll probably fit you.” Arthur suggested.

“Ugh.” Was Merlin’s response to that idea, “Fine. You’re right, I can’t say no to a King.” He sat down with a sigh.

Arthur reached over and stroked his neck gently without thinking.

It seemed to have a positive effect on Merlin who leaned into him. “Feels...that’s nice.” Merlin murmured. His neck was awfully sore and it was nice to be able to freely move it again. What was he upset about again? Arthur’s fingers felt rather marvelous.

Arthur sat down beside Merlin on the bed and arranged himself slightly. “Let me?” He coaxed gently.

Merlin nodded. “Please.”

Arthur smiled to himself and let his thumbs start working into Merlin’s neck. “Tell me if it hurts too much.” He was trying to be gentle and at the same time realized this was probably the worst idea he’d ever had. Being this close to Merlin, massaging his neck ... he really was a masochist. But that’s what he proceeded to calmly do. He gently massaged and worked his fingers up and down his neck, and his shoulders until finally the tension slipped away.

“Aaarthur...” Merlin whispered softly. He didn’t even realize he’d spoken aloud. The massage was doing wonders for his upper body and tense muscles began to relax.

His name on Merlin’s lips... just like that. Arthur grinned.

Then Merlin titled his head back and rested it on Arthur’s shoulder. His lips parted and he gasped slightly when Arthur’s fingers kneaded a particularly sore muscle. “Arthur!” he whimpered and licked his lips.

The damn mask made it impossible to look into Merlin’s eyes to find out what he wanted. “Can I kiss you?” Arthur felt humble asking but he couldn’t do it abruptly or he might ruin the progress they’d made. He did not stop what he was doing and continued to work on Merlin’s shoulders.

Merlin didn’t answer right away. It took him a very long time to respond to the point where Arthur wasn’t even sure he’d heard the question. He had heard the question. He’d also said before that he wasn’t ready to deal with Arthur like that. He knew he wasn’t ready but his body was. Maybe if he just shut off his emotions like during... that time. Maybe he could handle it, just this once. The taste of Arthur’s lips would be worth a little pain, a little fear. Wouldn’t they? Eventually there was a breathy response. “Yes.”

That was all the encouragement Arthur needed. He adjusted their positions very slightly and lowered his head. His heart pounded with anticipation, he didn’t know what to expect, what it would be like, it was like all of his fantasies converged on him at once. Their lips met.

And it was heaven. Arthur’s whole body felt like it had suddenly been lit up. It was a soft gentle thing, the kiss at first but then Merlin opened his mouth and invited him in with a gentle whine. He’d kissed people before but it was nothing compared to this. He was afraid to grip Merlin too hard so he simply held the back of his neck gently and was thrilled when he felt fingers in his hair. Merlin sucked on his tongue and he groaned from the intensity of it. He couldn’t help the urgent sounds that he made and he wanted to feel more but he was afraid of hurting Merlin. He gave a sharp gasp of surprise when he felt Merlin move his free hand and place it between his legs. Arthur broke the kiss and panted gently against Merlin’s lips. “Do you really want?” Arthur had to be sure.

“I don’t know...” Merlin whimpered. “I want to feel pleasure, but I can’t take this too far. Please understand. I just want you to...” He seemed embarrassed even asking and Arthur gave a low rumbling purr when Merlin tugged on his hair.

“Anything you want.” Arthur whispered as he kissed the Merlin’s jaw. He slipped his hand down under his trousers and reveled in the feeling of touching a part he’d been dreaming about for years. Merlin whimpered and bucked his hip into Arthur’s hand. That was all the encouragement Arthur needed and when they kissed again he proceeded to rub and pull and move his fingers in just exactly the right spots. “Say my name again.” Arthur pleaded softly. “Say it.”

At first, Merlin was happy to comply. “Arthuuur...” he whimpered. “Aarthur....”

Spurred on, Arthur continued what he was doing but as the pleasure built he heard a sob of terror and instantly stopped. “Merlin?”

“n-no... keep going, it’s alright.” Merlin tried to reassure him and his fingers gripped Arthur’s hair.

He was shaking, he was –terrified- , Arthur could tell but he was also begging Arthur to continue and he could not have resisted that if he tried. So he kept going. He felt the cold weight of the Iron mask under his chin as all kissing stopped. Finally he could feel Merlin shudder as the release jolted through him. A moment later Merlin sagged against him. Arthur reached over for a cloth to clean him. “Merlin?” Arthur whispered. “Are you alright?”

“I’m...” Merlin exhaled and had no words. “Can we stop now?” His hand left Arthur’s hair and Arthur felt terribly lost, unsure of how to respond.

He had to respect it. He had to. Merlin had been through too much for him to push things any farther than he already had. “Its fine, Merlin.” Arthur assured him gruffly.

“I’m sorry.” Merlin murmured.

At least now he was calm. Arthur slipped an arm around his shoulders and let him just rest a little while like that.

Merlin placed a hand gently over his heart. “Thank you, Arthur, I think I can deal with Uther now. You mentioned something about clothes?”

Arthur smiled though it didn’t quite touch his eyes. His body was aching for its own release but he suppressed it. These last few weeks he’d been getting used to suppressing desire and need for Merlin. “Clothes.” He nodded softly. How long would he have to do this for? He wondered and knew without a shadow of a doubt it would be for however long it took Merlin to heal.

A couple of hours later they were upstairs in Arthur’s chambers. In order to get up this far Arthur had carried him and he still felt self-conscious but once he was in the familiar rooms he relaxed. Arthur had helped him change and he was staring incredulously at himself in the mirror.

“You look good.” Arthur told him.

He did. Arthur had chosen good colors for him blue and brown and an outfit that didn’t have too much flare to it. Merlin wasn’t used to the fine cut and material of the clothes they felt weird on his skin. “I feel like an idiot.” He said at last as he smiled over at Arthur. The mask prevented him from getting a full on view of how he looked but he could see bits and pieces and it was enough that he knew he looked weird. Like, out of place weird.

“Well, you look fine, Merlin, even if you are an idiot.” Arthur smirked. “Ready?”

“No.” Merlin muttered. “Fine, let’s go.” This was going to be the most awkward dinner he’d ever had in his life, he was sure and he just wanted to get it over with.

“C’mon.” Arthur bumped his shoulder playfully and encouraged him out of his chambers.

“Why did I let you talk me into a walk this morning, this wouldn’t be happening.” Merlin muttered under his breath as he shuffled after Arthur.

Through the castle they made their way to the dining hall without any further conversation. Merlin was too nervous to talk.

When they got there it was a huge relief to see that it was only Uther and Morgana. He had half expected other members of the court to be there to witness his humiliation.

“Merlin!” Morgana smiled happily in his direction, which was also a relief.

Uther gestured to a chair. “Welcome boys, have a seat.”

Merlin decided that Uther was scarier when he was trying to be nice and tried not to waste time getting to a chair. He had moved a lot more than usual today and his body was starting to hurt like hell. He bowed in respect of course. “Thank you, Sire, for this honor.” He knew his manners.

Arthur sat down next to him.

“Part of the mask is gone.” Morgana observed.

“Just another reason why it is imperative we keep up our efforts to rid the kingdom of it.” Uther said forcefully. “In time, like all spells, I am certain it will wear off. Now then, food.” He snapped his fingers to the servers who went to get the meals dishes.

“I heard you were able to walk now, Merlin. I hope you’re not overdoing it.” Morgana said gently. “You should take tomorrow to rest.”

Merlin didn’t know how to make dinner conversation or how to respond but he did know that contradicting anything anyone said was generally a bad idea unless he was alone with Arthur. “Probably best, My Lady.” He agreed.

“I want to go after that warlord, father.” Arthur told Uther. “I want him to pay for this crime as you were right to say earlier today.”

“In time.” Uther nodded. “For now, it’s best you stay here. I have men gathering intel.”

“You do?” Arthur stared at his father, unsure whether to believe it or not.

“Yes. I suspect that this has Cenred’s hand in it to get information on Camelot’s weak points. And that is the end of that, Arthur. I will tell you when I there is enough information and when you can go.” Uther looked over at Merlin. “I suspect you will find the food much different than what you generally receive. I’m sure you’ll adapt.”

Uther was treating him with kid-gloves. It was weird, and really uncomfortable. Merlin could only nod. He wished he could read everyone’s faces properly but the mask wouldn’t let him.

“Tomorrow, Arthur you will find a suitable chamber in the castle for Merlin. He cannot continue to live as servant.”

“But father, he might be more comfortable down with Gaius who is still treating him for his injuries.”

“Nonsense, Gaius can visit him like he does with everyone else.” Uther shrugged.

“Excuse me, but...” Merlin couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “What does a member of the court do, exactly?” He also talked with his mouth full, of course.

Morgana chuckled at the question and Uther scowled.

Arthur would have face palmed but he was trying to keep his father in a good mood.

“Support their King! _That_ is what they do.” Uther almost snapped at him. “In your case, you will be support for Arthur.”

Merlin never did fully understand what lords and ladies actually accomplished during the day and he was well and truly confused by the concept of doing nothing.

“I’ve already got something in mind, father.” Arthur said.

He did? News to him, Merlin grunted at that response and tried to pretend it was something with the food.

“Good. We won’t discuss it now.”

“I think it’s wonderful, Merlin.” Morgana smiled at him. “I can’t wait!” The way she was looking at Merlin was unsettling and Arthur found really did not like it. “Gwen and I are going to teach you dances and a lot of other things.”

“I don’t think I’ll be dancing for a while, My Lady.” Merlin could hear the tone in her voice and it was unsettling for him too. Did she just flirt with him? “I only just started walking longer distances today.” At her sound of disappointment he felt a little bad but he really didn’t know what to say.

The rest of the meal passed with Morgana chatting about the days gossip. The food was excellent, better than he’d ever had for sure. His stomach sort of lurched slightly towards the end of the dinner and he made a face that had Arthur’s attention.

“Are you alright, Merlin?” Arthur asked.

“I’m fine.” Merlin said weakly.

No, no he really wasn’t. Too much solid food in one day was not sitting well in his stomach. “Arthur...” He clutched Arthur’s arm suddenly and gave Uther a half-terrified, half-apologetic look.

“I’ll join you later, Father, but I think Merlin is about to be sick. May I remove him?” Arthur stood.

Uther looked somewhat put out that Merlin couldn’t finish the whole meal but he nodded. “Of course, of course.” And Morgana helpfully distracted him with more conversation.

Arthur helped him up and Merlin knew one thing for sure. He was going to throw up and he needed to be by the closest chamberpot. And that of course, was Arthur’s rooms.

“Back here again.” Merlin muttered and embarrassingly did empty his stomach into the chamber pot.

“Too much rich food too quickly,” Arthur didn’t watch but did sympathize. “My father has a one track mind, Merlin. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Merlin’s stomach heaved and finally was relieved of that burdon. Another servant was called upon to retrieve the mess. He wiped his mouth and borrowed something to freshen it. Ugh, he still felt woozy.

“Why don’t you lie down here tonight?” Arthur suggested.

Merlin sighed and nodded. Arthur was right. “Fine, I don’t have the energy to argue.”

He really, really was a masochist, Arthur decided. Having Merlin stay the night could utterly destroy his resolve to keep things on a level Merlin could deal with. “You take the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor.” Arthur offered.

“Now who’s an idiot,” Merlin smirked at Arthur. “Your bed is big enough, let’s just share it.” He was exhausted from the day and didn’t feel like arguing over who slept where.

Arthur eyed him. “Alright, fine. But don’t be surprised if I react in the morning. I’m not a bloody saint, Merlin.” He pulled off his shirt and started getting ready for bed.

Merlin bit his lip. “I’m sorry. This is hard for you, I know. I.” He paused. “I appreciate it.”

Arthur’s chest rose and fell as he tried to even his breathing. “I know you’ve been through a lot, Merlin and my father is treating you like some kind of martyr.” He turned over to rest on his side while Merlin still sat on the bed, fully clothed. “And you don’t want to talk about this.” He gestured between both of them. “

Merlin was silent for a long time until finally he pulled off his shirt and took off his boots. “I don’t want to disappoint you.” He said finally as he lay down on the soft bed.

“Merlin.” Arthur reached over and gently touched his lips. “What if ...” He couldn’t believe he was even suggesting. He’d never let it happen in the past but with Merlin? He’d do anything. “What if I told you that you could... that I’d let you. Um..”

Merlin tried and failed to process that immediately. He swallowed, and laughed somewhat nervously. “You’re a Prince, Arthur. You can’t want that and anyway. I . I wanted you to be the one.” He sniffled. “You should have been the first. I’ve always wanted you, Arthur.” Merlin whispered brokenly.

“God, Merlin.” Arthur rumbled. “I will kill that man. I will slice him from one end to the other for this. Why did you never tell me? I –tried- to tell you. You didn’t seem to show any interest, no matter what I did.”

“Y-... you were trying to interest me?” Merlin couldn’t believe his ears.

“Of COURSE I was, you absolute idiot.” Arthur gave a long suffering sigh and decided it was time to confess. “Every opportunity I had, my shirt would be off. I didn’t dress myself because it was one of the few opportunities I had for your fingers to be on me and Merlin, I crave your touch. I had you stay in the room while I bathed. I tried to get you to react using every method I knew how. Nothing except a look every now and then and I lived for those looks, Merlin. They were like a drug to me; they were the highlight of my day! I wanted you so much but I wanted it to be your choice. I wanted you to want me because you did not because I demanded it. When they took you from me, I was devastated. It felt like the sun had gone from the sky.” He emphasized every word as he said it so that there could be no mistake. He had to let Merlin know at last, had to let him know the depth of his feelings. “I love you.” Arthur whispered. “I have loved you since the day I met you.”

“You love me.” Merlin wished he could see Arthur properly and cursed the mask once again.

“Yes Merlin, Do I have to repeat myself?” Arthur wondered petulantly.

“No, I” Merlin swallowed. He had no idea how to respond to that. He wondered how he wasn’t falling apart at the news. He had been hoping for it so long and it had been right in front of his eyes yet he hadn’t seen it. Some powerful sorcerer he was.

“Do you love me, Merlin?” Arthur was getting worried by Merlin’s lack of response. He hadn’t wanted to pressure him but he needed to know.

“Yes.” Merlin whispered. “I love you Arthur. Oh... Gods.” His body shook from the emotion.

Arthur closed the distance between them and took his lips. It was urgent and needy and sweet. Without thinking, he pulled Merlin against him and was surprised when the younger man complied. Then they were kissing again and moving and Merlin’s fingers were in his hair and he was lost.

Things progressed and clothing was removed, Merlin was cautious but enthusiastic. His hands still didn’t work properly but when his fingers threaded through Arthur’s hair there was no denying what they both wanted.

All through the night there was exploration he only ever dreamed of.

They did not do more than that, just touched and felt and kissed and Arthur’s body sang. It was the closest he’d ever come to complete bliss and he didn’t care that this was all they were doing. He’d wait. He’d wait for as long as it took Merlin to be himself again.

In the meantime, they had this.

It was more than he’d ever hoped for and all he needed to keep him going.

TBC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea.:)  
> Morgana is awesome.  
> Leon is awesome.  
> Uther is awesome.  
> Woodworms are Merlin's favorite excuse.  
> Evil brothers are evil.  
> Comments keep me going.:):)

That night had opened up a lot of doors for them both but also closed some opportunities. They were able to talk a little more but still the mask remained stubbornly in place. Arthur touched him more as well but he would never come at him from behind it was always when he made sure that Merlin knew where he was. Arthur treated him still with kid gloves and he hated that but at least they were talking. He was healing and true to his word there was now a room in the castle. He was put on the same floor as Arthur in a much smaller chamber. It had a great room, a bedroom and a privy along with a giant window. He felt self-conscious the moment he’d seen it. Was it really for him? He kept expecting to wake up and find his head on a chopping block but Uther steadfastly moved forward with his plan to turn a country boy into a noble and it was proving more of a challenge than anyone had expected. He didn’t –know- anything and he didn’t know any of the other nobles in the Kingdom so he didn’t know who was who and what mattered and what didn’t. He barely knew how to eat with his mouth closed. Uther had announced it already to the populous, everyone knew now. He was Lord Merlin of Camelot, no official title or duties or anything he just was Lord Merlin of Camelot and he was dazed by the whole affair.

He’d only shared the bed with Arthur that one time. Since then it was harder to find excuses to be alone together and he was focused on healing. Gaius came to see him in his new quarters and the only time he had an excuse to be with Arthur was when he was exercising his legs. He could walk longer and father now and on his own but he didn’t want to tell Arthur how much he’d improved in the last month. If he told him, his last excuse to see Arthur would be gone. Gwen and Morgana came to see him every day of course to show him various customs and dances and how to interact with noble ladies.

Arthur still didn’t have a new manservant, he’d steadfastly refused one. That was something. Merlin wasn’t sure he could handle the idea of someone else’s hands on the man he loved. Someone was banging on his chamber door. “MERlin! I know you’re in there.” It was Arthur, of course.

“Coming.” He opened the door and sighed. “Arthur. It’s early.”

“Yes, it is.” Arthur closed the door behind him and strode forward to catch him in his arms in a strong embrace. “You were asleep early last night so I left you alone, how are you feeling?”

Always, always the same question. Merlin was getting a little tired of it. “I’m about the same as yesterday.” Merlin grumbled. “No change. And to be perfectly honest, Arthur I’m bored, really bored. I mean how do you? .. ”

Arthur grinned widely and reached over to take one of his hands. The bandages were still on but they were less painful now. The broken bones were healing. “I’ve convinced him finally!”

“Convinced who what...?” Merlin stared at him still a bit bleary from sleep.

“You’re going to be my herald.”

“You’re joking.”

“Am not, it’s a profession for nobles and perfect! And trust me, Merlin it’s not boring.” Arthur grinned again at him. “Don’t you see.... we’ll have an excuse to be alone together in my room, pouring over books and you will help me write letters and review paperwork.”

“I’m going to be your...” Merlin looked at him suspiciously. “That sounds an awful lot like being at your beck and call again.”

“Kind of?” Arthur looked at him with a laugh. “I won’t treat you like a servant, Merlin. I promise and no one will object that I spend time with my Herald. You’ll announce me at Court and help me present gifts to nobility and that kind of thing. You’ll also follow me in battle. Which means...” He looked Merlin up and down. “When you get stronger you’re going to be on the training field.”

“Arthur I’m not a fighter...” The idea was warming to him. Arthur was right they needed a good excuse. He took a breath and managed to catch the fall of his Prince’s lips into a frown. “It sounds like a good plan, Arthur.” He quickly smiled and put a hand on Arthur’s arm. “Thank you. What’s the first thing we need to do?” Lucky for Arthur he knew he had a rather loud voice when he wanted one.

“I had Geoffrey send us a bunch of documentation and they are in my room. We can study it and go from there.” Arthur was acting like a kid in a candy store who just got given his favorite lollypop.

“You mean I can study it.” Merlin pursed his lips.

“Well... In my room.” Arthur grinned.

“Ah, alone with you, what if we get bored?” Merlin smirked.

“I’m sure we’ll think of something to entertain us.” Arthur’s voice was low and heavy as he pulled Merlin close to him by his hips. “The point is. You don’t have to wander aimlessly around anymore.”

They leaned in to kiss and as usual it was the part of the day that he found the most exhilarating. Arthur had learned to explore his mouth quite freely and Merlin knew that he wanted more. It was still too soon, though, his body wasn’t strong enough and his mind was just starting to get there. He still jumped too easily, didn’t like being alone with shadows around him and

Arthur pulled away suddenly leaving him breathless. He could sense the worry in his tone “Merlin the mask looks a little tighter.” He ran his fingers along the cold iron. No mistaking it, it was shaping Merlin’s cheekbones perfectly. “Is it hurting you?”

“I had a headache this morning.” Merlin admitted, “But I didn’t attribute it to the mask.” He reached up to try and feel what Arthur was feeling. “It is ... thinner?” He wasn’t sure what that meant. It wasn’t any closer to releasing his eyes, however.

“I think so.” Arthur nodded, biting his lip. “I don’t like you being alone at night.” He rubbed one of Merlin’s shoulders gently. “I want you to stay with me.”

“It’s too dangerous, Arthur.” Merlin shook his head. “If Uther ever caught us, he’d kill me.”

Arthur touched his forehead with Merlin’s and sighed. “I wouldn’t let him.”

“You’d have no choice and I can’t use magic. I’m pretty much useless at the moment.” Merlin muttered.

“I wouldn’t say that. You have plenty of uses.” Arthur teased him gently as he slid his fingers down Merlin’s chest and hooked them in his belt. He leant in and kissed the side of Merlin’s neck with a gentle soft sucking sound. “God, I love the taste of your skin.”

“Arthur!” Merlin had to giggle. “It’s the middle of the afternoon.”

“Mmmhmm. Maybe you should practice shouting my name.”

“Prat.”

“That’s not my name.” Arthur retorted and nibbled along the edge of Merlin’s neck.   “You’re going to have to learn to get it just right, after all.”

“I think I’ve got it down-pact.” Merlin laughed.

“Oh yeah?” Arthur lifted him up and set him on the table.

“And how are you going to explain this position, Crown Prince Dollop-head of Camelot?” Merlin let his arms rest on Arthur’s shoulders.

“You wouldn’t dare ever announce me as that!” Arthur’s eyes gleamed.

“Ahem.” Someone cleared their throat in the doorway and they immediately scrambled apart. Merlin pretended to be checking something very interesting out on the table. “Woodworms...Looking for unm. Woodworms.” He tried to look innocently at Morgana.

Arthur stifled a laugh.

“Merlin, you’re late for your lesson. Gwen and I have been waiting.” Morgana’s eyes shifted between Arthur and Merlin. She’d had an eyeful, apparently. “I strongly suggest locking the door if you’re going to do that.” She picked at some imaginary fluff on her gown. “What if I had been Uther?”

“You have a point.” Arthur shuddered. “Go with Morgana, Merlin. I’ll see you later and we can go over those books from Geoffrey.”

Morgana snorted, “Hmph. I heard from father you figured out a way to keep Merlin at your side. Well done.”

“I’ll have you know it took me and Gaius hours to come up with that solution!”

“Gaius helped you?” Merlin eyed Arthur.

“Okay, fine. It was his idea.”

“Of course it was.” Merlin chuckled and climbed off the table. “Let’s go find Gwen.”

For her part, Morgana was happy to see Merlin in good spirits. Herald, that was an ingenious move! She offered Merlin her arm because she could walk around like that with him, just to annoy Arthur.

And annoy him, it did.

Arthur followed the pair of him out. “Don’t wear him out.” He told Morgana sharply as he turned and headed in the other direction.

“Honestly, Arthur can be a possessive idiot. Merlin, how are you doing today? Any change?” She looked up at his mask.

“It’s thinner.” Merlin shrugged. “And Arthur’s just... Arthur.” He smiled faintly and whispers in a low voice. “I kind of like how he is like that.” He admitted sheepishly. “It’s hot.”

Morgana burst into peals of laughter and Merlin’s neck flushed red and laughs with her. He was glad he’d been wrong about her. He smiled and realized he was feeling normal and his head wasn’t feeling so heavy. Arthur was right, the Mask had gotten lighter.

It was a start.

***

Weeks of being outside that he didn’t like at all, weeks of roaming until eventually they found the trail. Sebastian ; a heavy set looking man with weathered skin and yellowing teeth looked over at his right hand man who just shrugged at him. “It’s not an easy place to infiltrate. You’ll never get close enough brother.”

“I’ll get close enough. I’ve his smell in my bones, Ger. He’s not getting away a second time. They insulted us. We lost a great deal of men to that and had to pay a pretty penny to get them back. They had a great laugh but not this time. ‘E was my gift! I’m takin’ ‘im back. Besides, you know what Cenred will do w’ us if he ever gets that mask off.”

Bastian wiped a dirty hand across his mouth with one of Merlin’s old neckerchiefs. “Don’t fret little bird.” He chortled gleefully. “Soon you’ll be back where y’belong.” He grabbed his crotch, licked his lips and grinned at his brother. They both laughed.

The brothers shoved each other and snickered.

Neither of them noticed Sir Leon who was one of Uther’s agents. He had been tracking them for a long time now since they came into Camelot territory. He grimaced when he overheard their commentary and was now sure than these were the men and Cenred –was- responsible for what had happened to Merlin. Information he could take back to Uther if he had a chance. Leon exhaled and closed his eyes briefly. Yes he was out here on Uther’s orders but if he kept this information from Arthur, the Prince wouldn’t be happy. He had instructions to follow and to learn and he sure as hell wasn’t going to let them take Merlin again. In spite of all the boys annoying tendencies to be in the way he was actually good for Arthur and Leon kind of had a soft spot for him. Like everyone else, he supposed. He’d changed Arthur for the better. Leon hadn’t ever seen Arthur be kind to those beneath his station until Merlin came along. He was going to shadow them until they made their move.

He made sure to take another shot of the elixir Gaius had given him that would help him stay awake when he needed it. Neither Arthur or Merlin had any idea of number of missions out in the countryside right now. He felt bad lying to the Prince but he was under an oath of secrecy. Uther was making a case for war against Cenred and all for his son ... and all because of how Uther had saw him suffer in the six months that Merlin was missing.

Leon grimaced as he heard Sebastian remind Gerald a particularly gruesome moment with Merlin. He had to restrain himself not to slice both of them right now but he also knew that Arthur wanted that honor. If he could just bide his time until they were surrounded in Camelot. At the moment, they were disguising themselves as travelers.

Leon took control of his temper and counted to ten. Sebastian would get what was coming to him. He just had to wait for the right moment.

***

“Tell me, Gwen, have you heard anything about Sir Leon, he’s been gone a long time.” Morgana asked Gwen who was showing Merlin a dance step. Merlin wasn’t dancing himself but they were guiding him through some of the social behavior so that he wouldn’t feel so awkward at the first celebration.

Gwen chuckled, “No My Lady. He did say he was going to visit family for a while so I’m sure that he will be fine.”

“Odd for him to be gone this long” Morgana looked thoughtful. “Come to think of it Gwen, have you noticed that many of the knights are missing?”

“It’s been remarked on downstairs my Lady. Do you know why?”

“I think I would be very disappointed if Leon didn’t come back home. I’ve gotten quite used to his face.”

“And a lovely face it is, My lady.” Gwen agreed. “Especially his hair, thick and curly” She chuckled at Morgana’s expression.

“Right here, listening to you girls moon over Sir Leon.” Merlin grumped as he tried hard to keep up with the moves that Gwen was showing him but he shook his head, “My feet aren’t ready yet.” He sat down heavily and eyed them both.

Gwen put an arm around his shoulder and hugged him gently. “I’m sorry, Merlin. We’re pushing you.”

“No it’s fine.” Merlin shook his head and smiled. “I need to be pushed. So, which one of you is in love with Sir Leon?” He resigned himself to hearing the gossip. It was the price he had to pay for hanging out with these two.

“We’ll tell you if you tell us how it’s going with Arthur?” Morgana gave him a mischievous look and Gwen blushed slightly.

“He’s rather a good kisser.” Gwen giggled at the appalled expression on Merlin’s face. “Oh, come on you have to admit it. He’s all tongue and teeth.”

“GWEN.” Merlin’s neck flushed red in embarrassment. Of course he knew Gwen had kissed Arthur long before him. “We are not talking about how good a kisser Arthur is. We are _NOT._ ”

“Oh, come on Merlin, indulge in a little fun.” Morgana prompted him with another mischievous giggle. “Does he make your knees week?”

“Lady Morgana!” And now it Gwen’s turn to pretend to be shocked, she gazed at Merlin expectantly.

Merlin exhaled, and said in a meek voice; “He’s a wonderful kisser.” It was two against one after all and he was no match for Gwen and Morgana. “I feel it everywhere. He’s just very good at it. He’s gentle... and kind and always approaches from the front. I feel breathless every time. It’s like...” He looked up to the last of the day’s sunlight streaming in from the window, “Kissing him is like touching my own soul.” He felt his lips gently while both girls stared at him, their wildest expectations had just been revealed.

The sunset’s rays seem to glisten through the window and caused the mask to shimmer slightly. Gwen and Morgana gasped as a soft magical glow seemed to resonate around Merlin. And the mask began to recede before their very eyes. The glow lifted Merlin slightly off the floor and he threw his head back and sort of hovered there in the eye.  
  
Gwen’s hand went to her mouth to hide a shriek.

“He’s not doing it. It’s the mask.” Morgana held her shoulders. “Look, it’s changing.”

And it was. The mask receded from Merlin’s hair, letting it tumble in a long mass down to his base of his neck. It pulled back from his eyes making it difficult to see and he closed them instinctually and set his ears free. But was not completely gone, it remained over his nose and under and above his eyes, clinging to Merlin’s skin and cheeks. The iron glistened one more time and the glow stopped. The sun had set.

Merlin dropped to the floor in a loud thump, unconscious.

“ARTHUR!” Morgana yelled. “Guards someone get Arthur! Gwen, help me with him.”

They both managed to drag Merlin to her sofa and get him up on it. “Merlin..... Merlin, are you ok?” Gwen tried to shake him awake. He just lay where he was.

Morgana coaxed him gently, “Come on, Merlin wake up. Let’s see those beautiful blue eyes, huh?”

“Maybe we should wait for Arthur.” Gwen suggested gently as she stayed her arm. Merlin’s hair was longer than usual, sort of wispy curls that collected at the bottom of his neck. It hadn’t stopped growing inside the mask. His ears were bruised as was the parts of his forehead that had been set free. He looked, for all intensive purposes, like a costume mask had permanently attached itself and molded to his face.

When Merlin came to the first thing he sees is a full on vision before him, Arthur was panting in Morgana’s doorway, exhausted from having run all the way from the training field in full armor. And he could see all of him. He gasped and put his fingers up to his face. It was still there but his eyes. His eyes were free. His hair was free. He could see properly. He gazed around at Gwen who was crying with joy and Morgana who hugged him fiercely.

“Arthur...” he whispered brokenly. Tears sprang to his eyes and he buried his face in his hands. Arthur didn’t care who was in the room, he fairly leapt across it and sank to his knees by Merlin. He pulled Merlin’s hands away and gazed up.

“Open them.” Arthur gently ordered.

Merlin obeyed and though they shimmered with tears and Merlin’s hair wasn’t exactly the cleanest hair in the world Arthur slid his fingers up and caught the back of Merlin’s head with one hand. He rose just a little bit and kissed one eye, then the other.

“I can see.” Merlin rasped. “I can see all of you.”

“Yeah” Arthur cupped his cheeks and kissed him fully on the lips in front of Gwen and Morgana and a few castle guards.

Gwen’s mouth dropped open and Morgana shoed the guards out and swore them to secrecy on pain of losing their family jewels. They were too scared of her to ever breathe a word.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had to add a couple of chapters. I can't finish this story all in 10. 
> 
> Morgana comes up with a good plan and Arthur doesn't like it.

Merlin had never felt so happy. He still couldn't use his magic, the mask was still on partially but his hair was free and his ears and he could see properly. It was, it was more than he ever dreamed it would be. He laughed probably for the first time since he’d been back.

Arthur was smiling wide and free. "Merlin, Merlin.." He whispered. "Your eyes, you're beautiful eyes." Arthur stroked the edges of his cheek and kissed his ears and lips. "You're almost free." He couldn’t help but laugh when Merlin did, Merlin’s laugh was infectious that way.  
  
Morgana cleared her throat and Gwen's cheeks were red. That reminded Merlin that they were not alone.  
  
"Arthur..." Merlin nudged his Prince.  
  
Arthur had the grace to blush when he finally remembered that they were not alone. There was no way to deny his feelings now. "I---"  
  
"Relax, dear." Morgana chuckled. "I knew all along." She gave them both a knowing smile.   
  
"I wasn't sure but I sure did suspect!" Gwen's mouth was still open. "How long has this been going on?" She looked between them, indignant and yet pleased.  
  
"Sorry, Gwen" Arthur gave an embarrassed chuckle. "I ... it's really a long story." He admitted.  
  
Merlin curled up against Arthur, feeling more than a self conscious. "I think I'm starting to heal emotionally as well as physically that's why it's coming off."  
  
"You don't need to push yourself." Arthur told him softly. "You went through a lot.” It was true that Merlin didn’t talk about it much at all, what he’d been through. He hadn't said anything at all about what had happened. Maybe that was why the mask was still on?  
  
Merlin didn't agree, he had to push himself. His body wasn't healing as fast as it would be if he had his magic back. He was honestly worried if he would ever be able to use magic again. He could feel it there, suppressed, just out of reach and he was a little afraid of what would happen when he suddenly got it back.   
  
"I have a theory about that." Morgana suggested as she headed over to the couch and sat on the other side of Merlin. Gwen went to get them all something to drink that was a bit stronger than what Morgana had in her rooms. "I think Merlin has to face his tormentor. I think you're still afraid he's going to drag you back to it and that this freedom is not real. I think, Merlin, deep in your subconscious mind you think you're imagining all of it and that is holding you back from full recovery."  
  
"NO!" Merlin shook his head desperately and took a fist full of Arthur's shirt. "No, I don't ever want to see him again. Never! No, Arthur... don't make me. Please."  
  
The abject terror in Merlin's eyes made anger boil in Arthur's chest at the man who did this. "Calm down." Arthur rubbed his back gently. "Calm down, Merlin. No, of course you don't have to." He shot Morgana a glare. "But tell me truly, do you really think this is a dream?" He tilted Merlin's chin up to search his eyes.  
  
"Everything is so weird and too good to be true." Merlin admitted and lowered his gaze. "I'm afraid..." He swallowed. "I'm afraid the answer is yes. I'm sorry, Arthur. Morgana is right." Without his magic, how could he ever know for sure that he would not wake up one day back in the cell? It ate at him in the back of his mind, especially when he was lying awake at night. He sniffled slightly, feeling useless.  
  
Arthur heart fell. Merlin didn't trust any of this, didn't trust his own heart. "Oh, Merlin" He took his lover's lips in another soft kiss. "This IS real. How can I convince you?"  
  
Morgana sighed. "I think there might be a way."  
  
Merlin looked over at her because the look in Arthur's eyes was killing him and he needed to look somewhere.   
  
"I think you need to experience pain, Merlin." Morgana's voice was soft. Gwen eventually brought in the hard liquor. "I think you need it so that you can completely believe. Have you two? Since..."  
  
Arthur shook his head.  
  
"Then you should, and there should be pain." Morgana took a glass full of said strong liquor. "I think that is the only way Merlin will snap out of this when he is sure that the pain is not coming from captivity. I think he will be free when he is sure that the pain is coming from something good. I think if he sees it is you he will know he is free and safe and the mask will vanish."

It was Arthur's turn for his mouth to drop open. "I could never. I..." He shook his head. "No, I don’t want our first time to be like that!”

  
"If you like, I'll be happy to do it." Morgana gave him a wicked grin. "I've often wondered what Merlin would be like in bed."  
  
Arthur blanched, "No way in hell.” He’d die first if he let her do it.   
  
"Um, sitting right here." Merlin eyed them both and smiled at Gwen who was giving him a sympathetic look. "You're not really arguing over who is going to ... hurt me during sex, are you? Did I get that right?" He blushed furiously and drank down his own glass. He gave Gwen a grateful look for she was silent through the whole thing and watching him with a worried smile. "Arthur and i have never..." He blushed again and went even redder if that could be possible.  
  
"I'm not going to hurt him deliberately the first time we do that. Our first time should be ... well." Arthur was clearly uncomfortable even discussing it with the ladies if his expression was anything to go by.  He was adamant there was no way he was hurting the man he loved. "And that's the end of that discussion. We'll find another way, Merlin."  
  
Merlin hid his face in Arthur's shoulder he was so embarrassed. He was in complete agreement with Arthur. The very last thing he ever wanted to do with Morgana and Gwen was discuss his sex life with Arthur!  
  
Morgana leaned forward with a tsk, boys. She rolled her eyes, "You do know how... I mean with a man, right, Arthur?" Her eyes twinkled, clearly determined to get the last word. She was right and she knew she was right. Merlin had to completely believe he was a wake and the only way to do that was to experience pain.  
  
Arthur stood up then, "That's enough of that." He dragged Merlin to his feet. "We'll see you both at dinner. Come on, Merlin."  
  
Merlin followed Arthur through the castle, cheeks still red. As they headed through the palace he thought he caught a whiff of a familiar scent but he must have been imagining it.  His fist bunched in Arthur's shirt and his breath hitched. He knew that smell, but it was impossible. There was no way he could be in the castle. Camelot was too well guarded. Perhaps he really was dreaming this whole thing?   
  
"What is it?"  Arthur paused and looked at him carefully.  
  
A memory surged that he associated with that smell and Merlin cringed away from Arthur and looked around wildly. No one was there. But what did that mean? Did it mean he really still was in his cell? He took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. He was with Arthur in Camelot? He was safe. He felt Arthur’s chest just to be sure.   
  
“Nothing,” Merlin shook his head and forced a smile.  
  
Arthur knew very well it was something but he didn’t push.  
  
Once they made it to Arthur’s chambers Merlin tugged Arthur around and pressed up against him. Arthur reached up to tug at Merlin’s hair. “Your hair needs washing.” he grinned softly.  
  
“And a cut,” Merlin grunted.  
  
“I like it long.” Arthur whispered. He rubbed the edge of one of Merlin’s ears. “I missed these.” As ludicrous as they were, Merlin’s ears were one of his favorite parts.   
  
“You’re sweaty and in armor, we ought to clean up a little.” Merlin reminded him and couldn’t pretend that his ears weren’t sensitive. He decided he didn’t really mind. He licked his lips and gazed up at Arthur. He could hardly believe he could fully see him, finally and show him with his eyes what was in his heart.

Bits of armor quickly fell to the ground as they were hurriedly stripped off the Prince. Merlin cursed his hands and wished he could get back some dexterity. Between kisses they managed to remove clothing and Arthur slid his hands to rest on Merlin’s hips. For a moment they just held each other like that and he gazed into Merlin’s eyes. “I should have done this a long time ago.” Arthur whispered apologetically. “I should have told you, I’m sorry.”  
  
Merlin silenced him with a kiss and fit their bodies together. It was so nice to be able to freely move his head. “I want you to make me forget. I want to see your face when you...” He blushed slightly, “when you come inside me.”  
  
“Are you sure?” Arthur exhaled breathlessly.  
  
“Yes.”  Merlin trailed a hand down and gripped Arthur’s member. “I want this. It’s always been you I wanted.” He hated that his hands were still bound and he wanted... Merlin kissed the side of Arthur’s neck. “Let me.”  
  
Arthur wasn’t in a position to deny Merlin anything and he certainly wasn’t going to argue when Merlin sank down on his knees and ... when he did that with his tongue. As far as he was concerned, Merlin could do whatever he wanted. But one thing Arthur would never do was deliberately hurt him. He just didn’t have it in him to be cruel.

And gods, Merlin knew how to use his tongue. “Merlin...” he groaned. Had he known Merlin would be this good at it he might have tried harder! His lips... his tongue... just. Arthur couldn’t keep his senses together. He stared down and found it hard to believe his own eyes. He’d just...he’d imagined this so many times. One night a few years ago, he’d almost ordered it he was so aroused after a lot of drink. He’d lain on his bed watching Merlin wander around his room completely oblivious to all the signs. That had been a frustrating night. Merlin encouraged him to move and he braced himself against his bedpost  
 with one arm and held onto of Merlin’s shoulders with his other.  
  
And he cried out, “I can’t....” he rasped as Merlin pulled off of him and he came then as Merlin rose and kissed his way up Arthur’s chest.  
  
“I love you.” Merlin whispered against his neck.  
  
And it was true because Arthur could see it in his eyes. Even if he couldn’t see it there he knew it in his heart. His whole body shuddered from the force of emotion rippling through him. “And I, you” Arthur kissed him, reveling in the taste of himself on Merlin’s lips.  
  
“Do you have enough left?” Merlin smiled shyly, his eyes briefly went to the bed.

“Oh yeah,” Arthur grinned and nipped his ear.  
  
And there was nothing else he could do but follow when Merlin led him to the bed and settled down upon it. “Love me, Arthur.” Merlin requested softly.

It was always Merlin, it would always be Merlin.

***  
  
Morgana smiled to herself as she got ready for dinner. When she let her room she saw something out of the corner of her eye and he ducked away.  She was sure of it, she wouldn’t miss him anywhere. She followed after him and was surprised when he dragged her into an alcove. “Leon!” She whispered. “You’re back.” She looked up at him with a smile and he leant down to kiss her. Her heart skipped a beat as she gazed up at the handsome Knight.   
  
“I don’t have a lot of time. Merlin is in danger.”   
  
"Where have you been!" Morgana wanted to know as she smoothed back his dirty hair. "You left without telling me!... Merlin, in danger?"  
  
"Yes, I've been trying to catch this guy in the act. Go to Uther!" Leon kissed her again. "I'll see you soon."  
  
"Leon, be careful!" Morgana whispered worriedly as she hurried off.  
  
"Always for you, my Lady" Leon smiled at her. For there was a reason he'd remained loyal to Uther all these years and one day he would win the right to her.  
  
Leon resumed his position and waited because he knew what was coming. He'd overheard their plan and he was ready for them.  
  
***


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uther is a great dad, sometimes. Sort of.  
> If you mess with Arthur, Merlin is a BAMF  
> If you mess with people Leon likes, Leon is a BAMF

Leon hated himself for how weak he was when it came to Morgana.  Uther would probably kill him if he ever found out but she had him twisted around her finger and she knew it. He adjusted his clothing as he was actually not wearing his armor. He had changed to common clothing so that he could follow Sebastian and his brother. Overhearing their conversations from time to time made him sick to his stomach. The things that Sebastian described when he started to talk about Merlin, so much more than one could find during a physical examination. The psychological humiliation and torture, it was awful. Leon had no idea how Merlin could have survived it all. A lesser man would have died. Leon had watched Merlin grow from the boy he wa when he first came to Camelot to the man he was now. Merlin's influence had changed Arthur to a man that would be a good King someday. People liked Merlin, he inspired one to be the best. It was just a look in his eyes and Leon hoped that he'd soon see that look again. He'd eventually have to tell Arthur. 

Like most people in the castle, Leon knew what was going on between them. It was hard to miss. He noticed it the very first day Merlin had showed up in Camelot.  On that day, Arthur changed. 

And Leon remembered how Arthur had panicked when Merlin vanished. He had been devestated and it had been Leon who had found him two weeks after Merlin had dissappeared crying and wrecked. That was when he realized just how deep the Prince's attachment to Merlin was. Leon had spent the whole day drawing Arthur out of depression and worried the Prince was going to do something stupid. Finally he managed to knock sense into Arthur by telling him what Merlin would think of him if he saw him like this. 

It had worked, but the dark months that followed had seen Arthur withdraw into himself. He had worked tirelessly trying to draw Arthur back out, encouraging him. Always with the quick reminder that what if Merlin came home? Would he want to see Arthur like this? Arthur had hated those late night talks, those times when he dragged him from the tavern. It had been up to Leon to look after him because if he hadn't, Merlin would have come home to a destroyed Arthur.

He wasn't even sure Merlin knew how much Arthur loved him.

As it was, he was waiting for Sebastian to make his move and he was fairly certain that would be tonight. He knew they had an exit plan and he had stationed guards. In fact, most of Camelot was surrounded. He wouldn't get away with Merlin, Leon had taken this job from Uther extremely seriously. 

So he waited in his position, no matter how much his body ached to visit Morgana once again. It had been a long time since they had been able to be alone.

***

Merlin lay curled up against Arthur, still trying to catch his breath. 

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." Arthur whispered against his neck. 

"I think I understand now." Merlin was finally able to breathe. 

"How do you feel?" Arthur stroked his neck softly. "I did my best to be gentle, I may have gotten carried away."

Merlin didn't answer the question right away because if he said he was fine he'd be lying. His body ached again with a familiar feeling that he had gotten used to when he was captive.  He wasn't sure exactly how he felt but he knew that he had liked having Arthur inside him. Arthur had tried to give him pleasure not take his own and he had. He'd felt things he'd never felt before and he wanted to feel them again. 

"Merlin?" Arthur gave him a worried look and brushed his hair away from his forehead.

Merlin smiled. "I'm fine, Arthur." He reassured him. "Just a little overwhelmed." He licked his lips where Arthur's had bruised them in a very good way. "I'm not used to feeling good after---" He paused and bit his lip. "Sorry."

Arthur took one of his hands and kissed it. He felt a surge of violent hatred for the man who'd done this and not for the first time. "I love you." He said softly. Maybe if he said enough times it would heal Merlin's wounds psychologically as well as physically. 

"You know I love you too, right?" Merlin scooted closer if that was possible and nuzzled his head under Arthur's chin. 

"I know." Arthur felt some relief then. Merlin would be okay.  "I have to go to dinner, you should stay here, I'll send a bath. They guards won't let anyone in the room."

Merlin bit his lip again, "Alright. I'm tired, too."  He stretched and winced. 

"I knew it, I *did*  hurt you." Arthur couldn't help but look mad. "Don't hide these things from me, I want to know!" 

Merlin shrank back and Arthur immediately felt bad for shouting. 

"we'll talk about this later, I really have  to get ready." Arthur shifted out of the bed and Merlin watched him stride through the room body still glistening from exertion. 

"Arthur you didn't, not really!" Merlin quickly pushed himself up. 

Arthur pulled on his trousers and looked over with a slight smile. He cleaned himself up with some cool water and a bit of soap so he wouldn't smell of sex at dinner. "Its fine Merlin." Arthur threw on his shirt and combed his hair. 

Was it? Merlin pulled his legs up and rested his arms on his knees while he watched Arthur get dressed. He noticed that there were a few bruises and nips and he flushed. "I ..."

Arthur looked at what he was looking at and threw back his head laughing. "Oh, Merlin..." His eyes twinkled merrily as he prowled back to the bed and gave Merlin a searing kiss. "I like being marked by you." His gaze smoldered at his lover. "I'll be back in an couple hours."

"I'll try and survive till then." Merlin's tone sounded a lot more like his normal self and Arthur's heart swelled with hope that his eyes fairly shone when he sauntered out.

Merlin sank back on his bed and realized that he'd just said he'd have a bath sent up and ... it clicked in. He'd better get dressed and look like he had a reason to be there. He pulled himself off the bed and stood casually ... he ached of course but it was ... honestly a good ache.

*** 

At dinner Uther looked at Arthur suspiciously. His only son was in a good mood at last and so was Morgana. It was a miracle. Uther cleared his throat. "Well, today was a good day, I assume?" He was well aware of what Leon was up to and he wasn't going to tell Arthur, either, not yet.  

Arthur attacked his meal and for the first time in months he was ravenously hungry. "Merlin's mask is almost gone." He said between bites. 

Morgana sipped her wine daintily. "He's healing, its good to see." Her eyes were on Arthur though as though she knew exactly what he'd been up to only a few minutes before. 

"Good." Uther nodded. He had some more wine and glanced at his son. 

"What?" Arthur knew that look, it meant Uther was about to say something he wouldn't like.

"He's a noble, now." Uther began. "I expect you to treat him as such."

What in the hell did that mean? "Of course I will!" Arthur glared.

Uther calmly ate his steak. "I don't care who you sleep with, Arthur. I'm not sure why either of you thought I would. As long as you both do your duty when the time and treat your lovers fairly its fine. I had my fair share of entanglements before I was married."

Morgana nearly choked on her wine, Arthur went red with embarrassment. 

Uther just shrugged, "No scandals and I won't have anyone killed."

"To be perfectly clear, father." Morgana lifed her chin with an amused smile and looked innocently at Uther. "Anyone we want?"

"As long as they are Nobles" Uther very pointedly looked at Arthur just then. "I will not condone my children bedding peasants."

Arthur's mouth opened in surprised realization of why his father had insisted Merlin was made a Lord. He looked at Morgana who had just caught on too and she grinned.  "Father, I don't know how to thank you." 

"Remember your duty and no bastards, that's all I ask." Uther grumbled and half smiled. "You can thank Gaius, we had a long discussion. When you are King you can do as you please, but until that time. You live your life by my rules. Is that understood? Both of you?"

Both of my children? Morgana eyed Uther for a moment but she nodded. "I understand, sire."

"Father I'm..." Arthur was speechless.

"Eat your supper before it gets cold." Uther told him tersely. _No need to get all mushy on me, son._ _He’s acting like I just gave him the best present ever. Gaius was right. Then again, he is always right_. Uther grimaced to himself. _The old man was going to be smug for weeks it was going to be intolerable._

Arthur obeyed, still amazed. His father never ceased to surprise him. He could be the most heartless bastard for some things but when it came to his son. When it came to what made Arthur happy. He was willing to bend, sometimes. Perhaps he must think Merlin was not a threat to an heir for Camelot.

Morgana couldn't hide her grin.

***

Merlin felt better after bathing and washing his hair for the first time in months. Honestly he wasn’t sure how anyone could stand the smell. He’d gotten used to it. He felt so much cleaner now as he relaxed in Arthur’s chair. He flexed his fingers, his hands were in better shape than they had been in a long time and he could move his fingers a little without pain. His feet still hurt of course. The rest of his body was still humming from the wonderful things Arthur had done to it. Although he ached from it he decided it was pain he could live with to get to that lovely humming feeling.

Now if only he could get the damn mask off completely and get his magic back and stop drifting back to ... things. He shook his head to get the image of the cell out of it. He was safe, he was in Camelot. This wasn’t a dream. He wasn’t going to wake up back there. He had to trust Arthur.

That smell though, the thing he’d smelt earlier that day. He was almost sure of it. Sebastian’s specific scent, he knew it. His eyes slid to the door, half expecting to see Sebastian there. The fear ate at him when he was alone. He just couldn’t control it sometimes. He felt so vulnerable without his magic. He shuddered and tried to will the image of Sebastian out of his head. Even with his poor vision in the mask he had been forced to look at his tormentor so that he would always remember his face. He picked at the food on the tray that as servant had brought. He wasn’t feeling very hungry. He needed some air. He went over to Arthur’s window and opened it. His gaze swept over the courtyard. It was mainly empty due to nightfall but there were a few guards around. And... someone else. His eyes strained as he looked down. The figure was looking up at him. A giant bear of a man... a man who pointed at him and knew he was being seen. Merlin’s mouth opened in a silent scream of terror. _Oh god!_ He scrambled away from the window. _He was here. In Camelot._ How was that possible!?! Merlin had dressed of course and went for the door. _He had to get out! He wasn’t safe! What if Sebsatian did something to Arthur?_ He stopped at the door. Was he just imagining things? He slowly shuffled back to the window. Sebsatian was no longer down in the courtyard. Maybe he WAS imagining things. He rubbed the back of his neck, confused. He paced a few times and glanced at the mirror. For the barest second he thought he saw the reflection of Sebastian. He yelped and rubbed his face. No one but him was in the room but he had to be sure.

He opened the door to Arthur’s chambers and was about to ask something of the guards when he saw they were not there. Strange, there were always guards in this hall. He took a few deep breaths to try and calm his nerves. That’s just what it was, nerves. Arthur would be back soon and everything would be ok. There was no way Sebastian was in Camelot. He wouldn’t dare.

His imagination was playing tricks on him, that’s all and he kicked himself for being such a coward. Before this he wasn’t any such thing, nothing would stop him from throwing himself in harm’s way. Why should now be any different? Somehow, he had to find the courage and face this specter of his captor. He closed his eyes and tried to pull out the Merlin that existed before this all happened. His old self trapped behind layers of pain. If there was any chance that Sebastian was here and Arthur was in danger he needed to find his old self. He needed to find him and draw him out.

Merlin pushed back the pain and terror and thought about Arthur. He thought about all the times that he had saved the Prince because of his magic and because of who he was. Somewhere, buried deep that boy still existed fighting to break back out again. He went back to the door and opened it, a determined expression in his eyes. If Sebastian was in Camelot, Merlin was going to find him. He took one of Arthur’s swords as an afterthought and walked out into The empty hallway and left Arthur’s door open just in case he had to jump back into it.

Merlin sniffed the air, “Where are you.” He muttered to himself. He would have kept moving except for the fact that he was sure that Sebastian was in the hallway. Somewhere in the shadows, “I know you’re here, Sebastian.” His voice was even despite the gathering fear and realization that he could barely hold the sword.

There was no answer at first, except for a low chuckle.

He knew that chuckle and his blood chilled.

“Little Bird, you flew far but not far enough.” Sebastian crooned. He stepped out from a shadowy alcove. “So nice and clean it’s as if you knew I was coming for you.” The man’s greasy hair glistened in the torchlight and Merlin shuddered. “I see you’re almost got the mask off but it won’t help you now. I shall enjoy breaking your fingers again. My brother is lying in wait for your Prince, you see. Tonight we’ll have you both. I will enjoy doing to him every single thing I did to you and more. He’ll be harder to break.”

“You didn’t break me.” Merlin growled as he tried to level the sword at Sebastian who laughed and easily disarmed him with a flick of his own. “I resisted you. And I will not let you hurt Arthur.”

“What are you going to do to stop me? As we speak my brother is carrying out his part of this.” Sebastian advanced on Merlin who stood his ground.

Just as Sebastian was about to reach out with his hand to encircle Merlin’s throat there was a door was thrown open and a sharp voice spit out venomously. “Touch him and die.” Sir Leon was holding his crossbow pointed directly at Sebastian’s head. “I heard every word. You are plotting to torture the Prince. This is treason and Uther will have your head.

“Sir Leon!” Merlin stared in surprise. Sebastian held his sword still to Merlin’s throat.

“This was a set up, you’ve been there the whole time waiting!” Sebastian snarled. He was surrounded, there was no way out, except... he suddenly lunged and grabbed Merlin. He flung Merlin around so that his back was pressed against his own. “If you don’t back off, I WILL slit his throat.” He held the sword up against Merlin’s neck.

There were footsteps thundering towards them. “MERLIN!” Merlin could hear the panicked sound of Arthur’s voice as he skidded to a halt into the scene.

Sebastian looked enraged that the Prince had escaped whatever it was he and his brother planned.

“Arthur!”

“Let him go.” Arthur said between clenched teeth. “Get your filthy hands off of him.”

“I think not.” Sebastian gave the side of Merlin’s cheek a sloppy kiss which made merlin grimace and squirm in his grasp.

Arthur had to be held back to stop him from launching himself at the man.

The scene was chaotic and when it looked like Arthur might get hurt by Sebastian trying to save him, Merlin was done with it. “I Will Not Let You Live To Hurt.Him.” He wrenched himself free from Sebastian’s grasp causing the sword to cut into his collar bone and he whipped around and with all the strength he had he shoved him. “You NEVER broke me do you hear!” When Sebastian toppled to the ground Merlin was on him in a second. “NEVER!” He gave a strangled cry and headbutted him... HARD to try and knock him out.

It would take a threat to Arthur to bring him back and so it did. Merlin was back. The mask shattered from his face to the astonishment of the Knights of Camelot and their Prince.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just one chapter more after this. something I want to throw in for the last chapter.:) Enjoy!
> 
> Your comments and kudos make me happy!
> 
> Thank you!!!

Merlin was more furious than Arthur was and in the end he had to be dragged off of Sebastian because Arthur wanted the man to pay. He knew Merlin did too. It was gone though, the mask was gone and Merlin’s face was free. There was momentary chaos in the hallway and Merlin struggled to get free. “Let me kill him!” Merlin pleaded as he tried to reach for Arthur’s sword.

“Not like this, Merlin.” Arthur tried to sooth him as he held him in a vice grip.

The guards had already hauled Sebastian to his feet and had him in their grasp.

“Take him to the dungeons tell the King we have him.” Arthur ordered. “I don’t know what happened but I think you have something to tell me.”

“We also apprehended his brother earlier, he’s dead.” Leon had received an update from one of the guards. “There’s no more threat.”

Merlin continued to struggle, “Let go of me! Let go of me!”

Arthur sighed and hoisted him up over his shoulder. “I’ll take care of this. Leon, the King.” Arthur turned and strode back towards his bedroom and set Merlin down inside.

Once he was set down on his feet he tried rushing for the door but Arthur stopped him and pushed him back away from it. He tried once again and swung a fist at Arthur who dodged him. He swung again. It was futile. He was never going to get past Arthur. Tears of frustration ran down his cheeks and he wiped at them and yelled at Arthur. “I hate you! You should have let me kill him!” He ran his hands down his face as he suddenly realized that the mask was completely gone. He was free. “I can make you move, Arthur.” His voice was husky and terrible, his eyes gold as the power rushed back into him.

“No.” Arthur said, still standing in his way. “You _will_ have to go through me, Merlin. You swore you would never use your magic on me and if you use it on me now I will never trust you again.” His eyes bored into Merlin’s with a challenge and his heart prayed against hope that Merlin would put his love for Arthur above anything else.

Arthur stared hard, heart beating as they both locked eyes.

Merlin scratched at his own shirt while he wrestled with the magic coursing through him. It was overwhelming. So dormant for so long and now it felt like it was filling him, “I can’t...” He stepped away from Arthur and backed up. His breath came in heavy shaking gasps. “I can’t control...”

“Merlin!” Arthur followed him. “Focus on me, Merlin. Push everything out and just focus on my voice, don’t let it consume you. Focus, Merlin.”

“Don’t come closer, Arthur, I might hurt you.” Merlin trembled and squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the rushing power through his veins.

“It’s alright, I’m here Merlin.” Arthur ignored him and took both of Merlin’s hands. “Work through it. Let it settle. Your magic will never hurt me.”

Merlin shuddered and convulsed as the magic ripped through him and held on to Arthur as if his life depended on it and at this point it really did because if anyone else where to see him like this. Arthur’s heart clenched at the very idea.

“Easy, Easy, love. Merlin, open your eyes, look at me.” Arthur commanded gently.

Merlin was terrified. What if he couldn’t control it? What if it hurt Arthur? He’d rather die. He hung on to the sound of Arthur’s voice and used every ounce of his considerable will to quell the rising surge.

“Trust me, Merlin, trust my voice.” Arthur crooned. “Open your eyes. I love you. I know you would never hurt me.”

And finally, he did. The gold flickered and burned bright ... It receded under the heat of Arthur’s gaze. He felt the magic wrap around them both and then slowly, ever so slowly, it dissipated. His blood cooled and his breathing became more even, all while Arthur kept a hold of him. The rage just simply washed away under Arthur’s gaze.

“Arthur...” Merlin murmured brokenly and Arthur closed the distance with a hard, demanding kiss.

Arthur’s fingers traced every inch of the face he loved so much as Merlin sagged against him. “It’s alright Merlin.” He lifted Merlin up and carried him to a chair.

“I was going to kill him.” Merlin heaved a long shuddering breath. “I wanted to suck out his energy and liquefy his bones.” He shuddered at the force of his hatred for the man. “You stopped me.”

“I did. And there will be no more talk of that. If you had used magic in that hallway....” Arthur shook his head. “Anyway, you didn’t. And now the King will pass judgment and he will pay for his crimes. It is as it should be because Merlin...” He lifted Merlin’s chin up and gazed at him. “What happened to you will not happen to anyone else from Camelot and all of our enemies will be made aware of the repercussions.”

Merlin could already feel his magic working on the aches and pains in his body. His fingers were already becoming stronger. His feet? He flexed one of them and found it bent a little. He smiled at Arthur and nodded. “If I had killed him, I could have never come back from it. I would have become dark, Arthur, I could never have been me again.” His fingers caressed Arthur’s hair gently.

Arthur pulled him close and hugged him. “Merlin!”

Merlin smiled.

There it was, Arthur’s heart thundered in his chest. It was his whole face, his brilliant wonderful face. His smile! Arthur traced that smile and kissed him again. “Come on, Uther will want to see us. Can you manage it?”

Merlin pulled himself to his feet, squared his shoulders and grinned. He ran his hand over his face, reveling in the fact that the mask was gone. “I can handle anything.”

***

They entered the courtroom. Merlin holding his head high and Arthur proud, it was there for all to see. The mask was gone and Merlin was back. Gwen gave a happy squeal of delight. Gaius laughed and even Morgana smiled. Uther simply watched as his son and his ... what did he say Merlin’s job was now? His herald. Uther found it hard not to roll his eyes. The entire court was assembled in their rightful places when the prisoner was brought in.

Uther gazed upon Merlin with a pleased smile. “You broke the curse.” He nodded. “Excellent.” He sat in the throne and leant forward as he studied the man. True to their code, guards and knights in Camelot had not done anything further to the prisoner though every one of them had wanted to. It was up to Uther to decide his fate. The only wounds on the prisoner’s face were the ones that Merlin had given to him. “You have been found guilty of plotting treason. Do you deny you and your brother were here to kidnap the Crown Prince?”

The prisoner could barely speak so he simply spat out a litany of curses but no denial. He leered at Merlin who just stared coldly back.

Uther snorted. “Do you deny you have committed the heinous acts of rape and torture?”

“It’s not rape if he liked it.” Sebastian’s voice was scathing. He spit again but couldn’t say anything more as Arthur was on him in a second with a well placed punch and had to be pulled off.

“LET IT BE KNOWN.” Uther’s voice boomed through the hall. “That the crime committed by the prisoner Treason is death. And be it known...” Uther’s voice was hard and cold as he looked around and tried to hold the gaze of every person in his court so that they understood how serious he was. “That for those acts to which he committed shall henceforth carry a hefty price in Camelot. He would have been executed for treason alone but now. Now it shall not be the chopping block or the fire. He shall be torn limb from limb by four horses.”

There was a collective gasp from the crowd who had never seen such a punishment enacted for hundreds of years. It was, by far, one of the most horrible ways to go and the most brutal to witness. Fire at least... was relatively quick compared to that. One could survive being pulled apart four ways and simply bleed out in pain.

“Sire...” Merlin was the first person to collect his wits, “May I speak?” He bowed humbly to the King.

“Speak.” Uther nodded to Merlin. He was, after all, now a noble.

“I do not question your judgment, your majesty. He must die.” Merlin’s voice was even. “Seeing as how I was the one who suffered I respectfully request permission to choose the manner of his death.” After all, the future punishment would be enough to deter anyone from acting out such things on a citizen of Camelot in the future.

There was a long moment that it seemed Uther wasn’t going to grant his request. He looked between Arthur and Merlin. Then he looked over at Gaius who simply nodded.

“So be it.” Uther gestured towards Merlin. “Your decision, Lord Merlin.”

There was a long, breathless quiet in the hall as Merlin bowed to the throne and turned to face his tormentor. _I could have sucked your life out from your eyes and liquefied your bones with the amount of magic power coursing through me at that moment_. Merlin thought to himself as he stared hard at Sebastian. He looked over at Arthur who was watching him with pride. “The King is correct, you deserve death and you shall have it.” He took a long shuddering breath. “Cut his head off. It is not what he deserves.” He looked back at Uther. “Your Majesty, it is my wish that you pass your law and cut his head off. That is what I want.”

Arthur was at first mad, but then elated when he realized what that all meant. It meant that Merlin was still himself and could never have ordered such a terrible thing. It meant that Merlin was coming back to him and he knew it for sure now.

Uther didn’t speak as he stared hard at Merlin. Merlin shifted nervously from one foot to the other remembering all the times that Uther’s gaze had been centered upon him because it was his life at stake. “It shall be as you wish.” The King finally nodded his head. “Tomorrow at dawn, Sebastian will lose his head and the law will be in place. If this happens again, horses shall be the punishment.” Uther made a separation sound and gestured with his hands.

Merlin bowed to Uther, “Thank you, Your Majesty.” He turned and walked back to Arthur. Shortly thereafter, court was adjourned.

After the girls took their turns hugging Merlin, Gaius remained in the room and looked at his ward. “You made me proud today, Merlin.” He told him in that way of his. “I worried about you as a boy but now, you’re a man.” He gave Merlin a hug, gave Arthur a _If you Hurt him I will turn you into a newt_ look and left the pair of them alone again.

“After you.” Arthur made a grand sweeping gesture and gave him a brilliant grin. This of course made him look like a total fool and Merlin burst out into peals of laughter. It was a sound Arthur hadn’t heard since... he smiled.

“You’re such a clot-pole, Arthur. Don’t treat me like some maiden.” Merlin stalked out first anyway.

Arthur followed, grinning from ear to ear. “Then stop acting like a girl.”

“Cabbage head, and now you can’t even send me to clean your armor. Hah!” Merlin glanced triumphantly over his shoulder.

“What if I told you heralds sometimes do that anyway? They’re kind of like squires. Sometimes you can order them about.”

“Liar” Merlin shot back.

“Are you calling the crown prince a liar?” Arthur glared at him indignantly and reached over to cuff the side of his head. He pulled his hand back just in time as he remembered. “Sorry.”

Merlin just laughed at him and he found it to be the most glorious sound he’d ever heard.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well my dears, all good things must come to and end and it was such a blast to write this and receive all the great comments. This is just the beginning of my madness though. My head is just full of things to write!
> 
> Love you lots. Anyone interested in doing artwork for any of my stories. I'd love you forever. I might even pay!

Later that evening, much later, Merlin was lying against Arthur spent and exhausted. His magic had kicked in and he was healing but not too fast because he didn’t want to alert the king. They would later attribute it to Gaius’ knowledge of herbs and such but he knew he was getting stronger by the day. And tomorrow the man who made him suffer would die and he could close that part of his life. He leant up on his elbow and gazed at the sleeping Prince next to him.

Arthur had been amazing throughout the entire ordeal. He’d been understanding and supportive. He’d done everything humanly possible and it had taken a toll on him as well. Merlin gently stroked his hair. Without that love he’d never have pulled through. It was Arthur who he hung on for. Now that he was safe in his Prince’s arms it was almost surreal but he wasn’t satisfied. Arthur was almost too gentle with him. Too careful and he wanted something more but he was afraid of asking for it. “Mmmm.” Arthur murmured, roused from sleep. “What is it?” His eyes fluttered open.

He smiled when he saw Merlin, bathed in the light of the moon that slipped through his curtains. His beautiful face free of the mask still bore scars and bruises from it but he could see them and kiss each one if he wanted to.

“I want something.” Merlin ventured softly as he bit his lower lip.

“The last two times weren’t enough? Really Merlin, I’m young but even I have limits to my endurance.” Arthur grinned at him and lifted up one his hands. He stared at it gently and kissed his knuckles. Being able to see them made him shiver with anticipation of when they would be at full strength again.

“I appreciate everything you’ve done Arthur.” Merlin smiled. “I want...” He swallows, unsure of how to ask. “He was rough, brutal.” He looked away. “And...”

Arthur’s expression changed then as he listened. He looked angry but not at Merlin. None of what happened was Merlin’s fault.

“I was very glad I had the mask because I know he would have had done worse things.” Merlin drew up his knees. “So I have that, at least. You’re the only one who has touched my face. The rest of me...” he shrugged. “The rest of me endured more than you can imagine.”

Arthur rubbed Merlin’s fingers gently. “What do you need from me?”

“Your strength, Arthur, I need it.”

Arthur looked confused, “you have it.”

“I mean...” Merlin hesitated. “I want you to erase him from me, Arthur.”

“But you’re not fully recovered!” Arthur stared at him, “I could really hurt you.” He couldn’t deny he was eager to purge the memory of that man from Merlin’s body and that gentle wasn’t really his style.

“I don’t care.” Merlin shook his head. “You’ve been gentle and loving and wonderful and I love you for it. But I know you’re holding back. I want to pretend.” He reached up and trailed his thumb over Arthur’s lips. “That this is you and me before all this happened. And I want you to do exactly what you would have done if you found me naked in your bed. I don’t want you to hold back. I want to feel you, Arthur. I want to feel you as deep as you can possibly go.”

“Merlin...” Arthur finally began to understand just what he was asking for. He smiled and his eyes went deep blue with passion. “What are you doing in my bed?”

“I suspect I should be asking you how you got me into your bed, _sire_.” Merlin drawled, delighted that he was willing to play this out.

“We could play that game all night, but the fact remains that *You* are in my bed and everything in my bed is mine to do with as I please. So..” Arthur flipped him over onto his back.

The move surprised Merlin and he tried not to wince at the pain that rushed through him. It was something he could associate with Arthur now though.

Arthur kissed him then, deep and searing and it flooded him like wildfire... he didn’t hold back either. Greedy kisses followed, fully exploring his mouth with the new realization that Merlin’s face was his and his alone. He vowed then and there that he would erase that man tonight because that was what Merlin wanted. He would erase him from every part of Merlin’s body if it was the last thing he did.

Good thing no clothes were in the way. It made t his slightly easier. Arthur kissed a trail to Merlin’s left ear and whispered “I’m going to drive hard into you, Merlin.”

“Oh....” Merlin murmured, “Please, Arthur.”

He sucked on the lob and bit it and buried his head into Merlin’s neck just to drink in his scent. They both groaned and Arthur proceeded to do just exactly that. He did not hold back this time, He used all the muscles he’d spent years building. Honestly this is the way he’d wanted it to happen. He’d wanted to be confident and bold. He’d wanted Merlin to shudder beneath him and beg for him. He’d fantasized for so long.

Now every moment counted. He used each muscle to his advantage to angle and strike and draw as many sounds as he could from Merlin as long as they consisted of the kind of sounds one makes when they are feeling utterly filled.

“ _Mer_ lin...” he panted. “I can’t hold out much longer.”

“Just a little more, please.” Merlin begged him and tugged on his hair. “Please... yeah...like that.”

Arthur was beginning to sweat with the exertion. “Quiet, I’m trying to concentrate.” Arthur took his lips again. “Why do you always forget, who’s in charge here?”

“And who...” Merlin gasped as he got to that particular spot. “Aaaaarthur... might that be?” He dug his nails into Arthur’s shoulders, accidently drawing blood.

Arthur cursed. The sensation riled him enough to move faster and harder than he’d done before. If this is what Merlin wanted, this is what he’d get. He had a sinking suspicion that even if the mask had never happened, he’d never be the one in charge when it came to things done in the bed. “Merlin .... Merlin... Merlin!” He noticed that his lover had already spent himself. “Ahhh... you.”

“Now, Arthur.” Merlin whispered both hands in his hair. “Gods, _now_.”

No way. Arthur held on to every shred of willpower he had left. “Beg me.” Arthur whispered and kissed his ear again. He reduced his rhythm to low easy thrusts.

Merlin flushed, “Please, Arthur.” He murmured as he gave in. “ _Now,_ please...”

A few more thrusts and he couldn’t hold out any longer. Arthur shuddered and with one final push he was done. He collapsed onto Merlin and was held there in place while Merlin stroked his back and eased him through the aftershocks. “Yeah... yeah...” He felt sore and ached all over but felt sure the beast was exorcized. Arthur had taken every bad memory he had from that act and made it so that he would only ever remember how this felt. The rest of it would just fade away into the recesses of his mind and his magic would eventually bury the memory completely.

“Gods, Merlin.” Arthur muttered as he kissed him one more time. “I love you.”

“And I you” Merlin smiled at him. “Now...move, you’re heavy, I can’t breathe.” He smacked Arthur’s bum. Arthur moved to his side and winced as Merlin’s fingers felt the welts he’d made. “Sorry.” He was about to whisper some magic to heal them but Arthur shook his head.

“No. I want to keep them.” Arthur didn’t even need to ask how it was. Merlin reached over to get some cloths to clean up and cuddled against him.

“Let’s do that again in the morning.” Merlin said playfully.

“ _Mer_ lin” Arthur cuffed the side of his head.

“What? Ow...” Merlin glared at him.

“It _is_ the morning.”

Indeed it was. Outside, dawn was breaking on a new day.

“Oh” Merlin looked so crestfallen Arthur had to laugh. “Stupid sun”

Instead of getting up, he simply pressed against Arthur and they both rested there until it was truly time to get up.

***

The whole of Camelot was there to watch the execution. Up on the balcony the King was waiting for the prisoner to be dragged to the chopping block. Merlin stood next to Arthur and Morgana and Gwen looked on.

“After today, I will not show mercy.” Uther declared. “What this man has done is obscene and I will not have it in Camelot and will not allow any citizen of my Kingdom to feel there is no justice for such things.” He raised his hand and looked at Merlin, then looked back at where the prisoner was ready.

Merlin just watched. He didn’t usually watch executions but he had to watch this one. Arthur’s hand remained tight on his shoulder and Gwen held his hand giving what support she could. He didn’t need it, he didn’t feel anything. Last night he had purged the man from his system forever.

And Uther’s hand came down. The axe was swift, bloody, but painless. It was done. There was a cheer from the crowd.

Merlin exhaled.

It was a new day in Camelot, a better day and he felt that he could return to his mission. He could do this.

It was a new day.

THE END


End file.
